Monthly Archives: July 2013

Over the past couple of days, I’ve mentioned the amazing book ‘From the Father’s Heart’, by American Prophetic Psalmist Charles Slagle. I frequently pick this amazing book up and just let it open: and, as so often happens when you do that with the Bible, it opens on a page that is totally relevant to me!

Today I read this – the title is the title of the blog, and it’s based on 1 Peter 2:20-23

I HAVE NOT BETRAYED YOU

Broken One,
I have not betrayed you. Mortals have, I know. But may I share a secret with you? At this very moment – even now – you hold great power, either of life or death, sorrow or loss in your hands. I AM not often angry, yet otday I AM for the pain they willfully caused you.

Thank you for allowing me to defend your interests! I AM happy you asked me to do so. Yes, vengeance is Mine! I will repay. So what would you have Me to do? Search your heart, and do consider it very carefully, for what is done cannot be undone, little one….

Shall I judge them strictly by the ways they have dealt with you? Or shall I consider all preceding factors – their shattered hopes, their inner struggles – even as I have done for you? And what if they repent? You decide. I await your answer patiently, sorrowfully, and with deepest compassion.

Tenderly,

Dad.

P.S. Remember, mercy triumphs over judgment!

Over the last few years, you’ll have known of my saga with the United States: every time it seems to be coming to a conclusion, something else happens… ! AT LAST, my shipment has arrive at a shipping/storage facility, in Bangor! Thank you Lord!! It’s been a mighty long battle to have something so simple to be concluded. Over recent days, as I’ve become more and more aware that the crook in the States who caused all the problems, and the people I once knew, are not going to take any responsibility for the cost, the stress, the frustration…. (the storage cost, because of said folk, was around £10,000/US$16,000, on top of what I’d already paid to ship it, supposedly, from ‘door to door – £2,600/US$3950). Over the last few days, God’s been so gracious to me with the peace he’s given to me, and, a few nights back (who knows that it’s whenever your head hits the pillow, that’s when all the thoughts/stresses/anger of any given situation, flood your mind?!), I made a decision that there was no point in pursuing these sad, sad people, who have found it so easy to do what Charles put in the heading of his ‘letter’ – betrayed, abandoned, let down, defrauded… and that what Charles wrote from Scripture about vengeance, and in the ‘P.S’, was a much better way of dealing with it….

So, the last few nights I’ve slept well – despite hearing last night from the Estate Agent/Realtor that the house in Virginia, owned by my two lovely friends here in the UK, is now infested by termites… if you’ve followed my story over the past few years, you’ll know that, due to negligence (and people staying in what I’d called ‘home’ without my knowledge), the house had flooded. Seriously flooded. 17,000 gallons of water, for 6 weeks, in temperatures that ranged from around 33C-40C! Interesting amount of damage, I’m sure you can visualise. Of course, termites generally ‘infest’ damp places, so, it seems that over the 3 years since the flood (it was about July ’10), the negligence has continued. BUT, there’s nothing I could do: and still nothing I can do. After a few moments of ‘ire’ last night, I just asked God to take the whole saga, at least from my mind, and look after it – defend my interests, as Charles would say….

Hopefully, despite the infestation(!), the house could/should finally sell on 29 July: and, with my stuff in the UK now, I can walk away from the Virginia saga, and let God deal with the fall-out, on my behalf. Peace is a lovely blessing from from /God, ain’t it??!

I can’t recommend this book highly enough – or, the trilogy of Charles’ three books in one volume, ‘Abba Calling’ – which is a ‘through the year letter-a-day book…. (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Abba-Calling-HB-Slagle-Charles/dp/0768441374/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1373978057&sr=1-2-catcorr&keywords=charles+slagle)

Thank you, all of you who have prayed for me over the shipping saga! And helped me financially. I’ve had people say, ‘just ditch it’: that wasn’t really an option, as I’d already ‘ditched’ about 80% of the stuff I had in the States, and this was personal stuff, things of emotional/sentimental value, oh… and my reclining chair!

You know, I’m a weird sort of bloke… for all the years I’ve had a website (I think the ‘old’ one was 7 years in April, the new one pretty much since then), I wondered if people read it, was it worth reading? did people think it ok?…. I never had a ‘hit’ counter on it. NOW, that’s all changed… I do have a hit counter. Worries over? Not a bit of it….! I wonder now why some days it gets lots of hits, and then worry on the days it doesn’t get many…. how fickle is that, eh? I never want to be one of those people who worry just because I’ve got nothing to worry about, but where the website is concerned, I seem to be turning into one! Hopefully, there’ll be loads of stories in the coming months, begiunning this weekend, when I arrive in Cali (Friday) Colombia again… then, having disciplined myself not to fill my diary, it begins a bit of a roller-coaster… but with gaps, so I can justify it (I think!) – on 8 August, I go out to my lovely friends Benny & Paty Osorio, in Mexico City, until 19 August, 6 September head off to Australia, 3 October to France, 15 October to Rhinos, 25 October to Colombia, 29 November to England and France….

I’ve said before, I didn’t ever want to be a ‘Facebook’ blogger who tells you they’ve had a nice lunch, or a ten minute afternoon nap…I DO repost things more when I’m at home, that I think are thought provoking or funny (some of them I can’t repost, even though they’re hilarious, because I’d probably lose a lot of ‘friends’!). Every now and again, too, I write something that has blessed me, and I hope it’ll bless you, or challenged me, or confirms stuff that I might preach/speak/deliver somewhere or other. I wrote yesterday about a wonderful book that’s blessed my life for almost 30 years, written by a wonderful guy: when I wrote it, it was just to say how much that first ‘letter from the Father’ had changed my life. I almost immediately heard back from the writer/minister, Charles Slagle, to say how much it had blessed him to read it… you never know when you’re going to bless people, do you?

I reposted something on Facebook today, that pretty much says that (above): encouragers, ministers, preachers, ‘strong’ Christians (though Jeff Lucas’ book ‘There are no strong people’ is wonderful at bursting THAT bubble) – ALL need encouraging. If I’m honest, people who are always on a ‘spiritual high’ or ‘at the top of their game’ really worry me, and I try and avoid them…. that’s not defeatist, it’s just truth, that sometimes, I – and everyone else – needs a hug… We’ve got this ‘christianese’ mentality that says ‘I’m fine’ ‘I’m ok’ because we don’t want to expose the fact that we’re struggling, low, hurting… Years ago, I was in a church (no name, no place, to protect the guilty!) where the pastor would always be at the door at the end of the service, shaking hands with everyone. He’d ask a succession of people, ‘How are you?’ and they’d invariably answer ‘I’m fine’: his response was always, ‘Oh, good!’. One day, when it had been a really awful week, I decided not to do the ‘I’m fine’ bit, so I told him: his response was. ‘Oh good!’ – which either meant he didn’t care, or he wasn’t listening….one quite well known leader, some years back, had mastered the art of hugging you without ANY single part of his body touching yours. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more insincerely hugged in my life….

So, please don’t feel you HAVE to look at my blog! Just letting you know, that, despite some wonderful, wonderful stuff God has given me the privilege of seeing/doing/being involved in, there are times when insecurity, which only gets dealt with as you continually beat it to death, and being down, is as much part of my existence as it might be yours….

No, on your side is NOT the Nationwide (a Brit building society for any foreigners, and it”s their slogan). It was actually the first ‘letter’ in a book written by a man who, over the years, became a friend, unusual back in the ’80’s as he and his wife Paula were ‘prophetic Psalmists’ Charles used to hear from God in the most remarkable ways, often he’d get anyone wearing a certain colour in a meeting to stand, and then prophesy over them all…. often he and Paula would sing prophesies….

In those days, I can remember it so, so clearly, I was frequently DESPERATE to get a prophetic word, so I’d go to every meeting I could, sit right at the front in the middle: normally, the ‘prophet’ would go along a line, prophesy over the people on my left….then on my right…. and miss me out! Maybe that’s been your story, too….so when Charles came along, I’d go as a true ‘style victim’ to his meetings, wearing every conceivable colour, whether as top clothes or underwear or socks…

Then, he came out with this, in one meeting, and it changed my life – as so many Godly people have done when I look back: it’s from his book, ‘From the Father’s Heart’ – a series of letters from God to his children. This is the first one (by the way, the book is amazing, and is available on Amazon (http://www.amazon.co.uk/From-Fathers-Heart-Glimpse-Nature/dp/0914903829/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373820044&sr=8-1&keywords=From+the+Father%27s+heart) :

Child,

If anyone wants you to succeed, I do.

If anyone is on your side, I AM.

There is no one more committed to your happiness than I, and no one even begins to love you like I do.

And I want to clarify something. My love for you is more – far more – than a patronizing concern for your welfare. I like you. I ENJOY you.

I realise you find all this hard to believe, but I WANT you to believe it. You’ll have to, sooner or later, so why not now?

I think about you all the time, and I will stop at nothing to remind you of MY presence.

Haven’t you noticed?

Entreatingly,

Dad

Ps 121; Zeph 3:17; Rom 8: 31-39

When I first heard Charles read this, it must have been about 1985. I’d desperately needed to hear something like this, then: hence my desperation for needing prophetic words.

Then, two years later, when that desperation had gone, Charles came to the town I was living in – and, prophesying over a church, that it was to become a mission church, pointed at me, quite soberly coloured clothes-wise that evening! – and told me that I would be the missionary: one of 9 prophetic words, in the space of 6 weeks, saying exactly the same thing. When he prophesied it, it was the LAST thing I wanted to do: I didn’t travel, I didn’t ‘go the the four corners of the earth’ (anyway there ARE no corners!!), I didn’t DO foreign food, foreign toilets….but man alive, was Charles right: and all the other 8 eight prophetic people who said pretty much the same thing. For the first 5 or 6 I tried to ignore them (having spent so many years desperate for one: when I got them I didn’t want them!!). Then, I realised that what Charles had written in that ‘letter’ was right to me, some years earlier: ‘I will stop at nothing to remind you of MY presence’…. Thank you, Charles, for such amazing insights in your lovely book, thank you for your faithfulness and obedience…

That was 27 years ago: I know, without a doubt, that God is STILL ON MY SIDE….and still, he’ll stop at nothing to remind me that he’s here….

And it’s exactly the same for you….

In a few days time, despite the fact that my somewhat painful knees are tying to tell me different, I head for beautiful Cali, Colombia, once again: the bombardment leading up to this trip suggests to me it’s gonna be a good ‘un, and even more so, for Alan & Barbara, with whom I’m going. I’m very grateful that I’ve managed – not by planning, as I haven’t worked out how the schedule works with Avianca airlines! – to get the direct flight into Cali from Madrid, so only one change en route from London, in Madrid…. I’m thrilled, too, to have just received another invitation to the super church, ‘Le Gospel’, in Rouen, France, later in the year, which means two visits to France coming up! Lisieux in October, and Rouen, probably the first weekend in December.

There ARE countries I miss from what used to be a packed schedule in the past, one day, hopefully, I’ll go back to some, but as age and the need (and desire!) to rest between trips, and be home, has grown, it means fewer ‘short’ trips to places than before. I remember, not so many years ago – maybe 6 or 7 – flying from London to Bucharest, Romania: spending a week there, flying back to England, next day flying to Nairobi, and then Kisumu, in Kenya (to preach a two hour drive away from Kisumu, in Eldoret) for a week, flying back from Kenya, then next flying to Colombia, for three weeks. As the latter then involved a transit ‘layover’ in the USA (those were the days!), it meant that I’d been on four continents in the space of about 9 days…. it exhausts me to even think about that now!

I’ve become increasingly protective of time at home: until 2-3 years back, if I’d got a ‘spare’ weekend at home, and someone asked me to go, I’d do it. Learning to say ‘no’ , or ‘later on’, are among the hardest things I’ve had to learn, but I know that if I’d been away this coming weekend, which invariably means early Friday to late Mondy/early Tuesday, there’s no way I could think of going to Cali on Thursday…..

I’m really thrilled, too, about the ‘teams’ that are coming together for the three week+ sojourn in Cali, at the end of October to mid-November. It’s now definite that Mark and Brian, my great mates from Maidstone, and Simon and Nick, from West Sussex are going, along with Gerry from Eastbourne, Robert from Melbourne, Australia (yippee!), and Paul, from Hove, are all with me. With the possibility, still, of Robert’s brother James, and Alan (again – I think he loves it as much as I do!). Looks like, even in a 5 bedded apartment, we could be heading for mattresses on the floor….two teams of 5, 7-9/10 days each… can’t wait.

Mentioning Nick, he sent me this picture tonight (he and Sarah are the couple who named this gorgeous boy – the smaller of the two!) after me, which as I’ve said before, is wonderful and humbling all at once:

Somewhere, back in the dark recesses of my childhood and youth, and in my late twenties/early thirties, I was one of the most shy people you could have met. I come from a family of shy people, with no aspirations of being ‘up front’. When I quit my bank job, it was to go into ministry, with Youth for Christ, but as an administrator, which, for me, meant dealing with people, yes, but primarily by phone and letter, which was ok.

In 1983, national YFC organised a conference on ‘Healing’, at which the speaker was to be Ian Andrews: I discovered in Ian a relatively shy man (then – maybe still, it’s been a while since I saw him!), but who WAS willing to be up front, and impart to others his gift of healing. A few months later, I had cause to spend time with Tony Campolo – chalk and cheese on the personality scales, Tony and me! – but God used those two men incredibly in helping me first, to overcome insecurity and fear, and second, to be willing to grit my teeth and put myself up front….

In doing that, I began to find that faith ‘came’. I have lots of people ask me how/why/where I got the faith I have, especially for healings and miracles. It came the hard way, and with small steps of determination.

Why am I writing this? Well, I’ve been nattering again, on Facebook, with my great mate, Robert Hall, from Melbourne, Australia. I’m probably going to embarrass Robert here, nut hopefully bless him outrageously too (!). I met Robert & Shey for literally a couple of minutes at the end of a meeting I’d spoken at: it was severely time limited as I was on my way to the airport to fly home to the UK. Their four sons were pretty much all on the autism/aspergers spectrum.

Quite a few months later, I had a message from Robert (who then was only a ‘friend’ of those couple of minutes!): there’d been a change in their lads in the intervening months, and he asked me if I’d pray for them again. He told me then that he had ‘no faith himself that they’d be healed, but we’re willing to bring them to wherever you are in the world to get you to pray for them again’.

Man alive: what faith THAT was! Four lads, now 9 years and under, on a flight from almost the furthest point away from anywhere I was likely to be. Rob even mentioned Bogota, and, if I remember right, Bangalore…. You know, so often, we say, ‘I don’t have enough faith’ or ‘I don’t have faith for this – or that’. YES YOU DO..

Robert & Shey did: it took humongous faith to be willing to do what they suggested. To cut a long story short, I went to them instead, knowing that their faith was already working wonders in their whole family – not just their kids. That was August 2012: I was back again in February 2013, and last November, Robert went to Cali, Colombia, living with the reality of his own perceived fears of Cali (!), but being willing to face those fears down in order to see God move.

And boy, did he see God move! In August last year, especially in November in Cali, and then again 5 months ago. At the end of the February visit, standing in Melbourne’s Tullamarine Airport, we hugged, agreed it had been a great trip, wanted to do more together – and then Robert said something that blessed me outrageously and blew me away: ‘I don’t need you to pray WITH me anymore – I can do it now!’

That’s pretty much what I’d picked up from Ian Andrews and Tony Campolo 30 years ago. A man with little or no faith (according to him – and me, then), now in a place of faith, and has since moved in it quite remarkably in and around Melbourne, and especially among the people he works with (always challenging) and with the people he runs with (he’s a long-distance runner, really fit, just like me… 🙂

The reason I’m writing this today is that Rob and I are talking on Facebook again about my being back in Melbourne in September. Some people who’ve heard of the changes in Robert & Shey’s boys, drove, 5 months ago, 4 hours each way to get to Melbourne to have their kids prayed for. Robert’s told me today that they’ve organised their ANNUAL HOLIDAY as a family to be in Melbourne, when I’m back, so that Robert & I can pray for them. THAT’S FAITH.

It’s the sort of faith, like I told Robert & Shey, that Jesus would have said ‘Your faith has made you well’. Faith isn’t JUST doing the stuff, as John Wimber so wonderfully called power ministry when he first hit the shores of the UK in the mid ’80s. It isn’t just speaking in tongues, prophesying, laying your hands on the sick.

It’s being willing to take a traumatic multi-day plane journey across the world to get prayed for: it’s being willing to take annual leave to get your kids prayed for. Their faith has made them well…. It’s worth travelling across the world JUST for them, in a couple of months’ time…. Faith is doing what YOU can to enable God to do the rest. I know you know that, but, as C. S. Lewis once said, ‘We need to be reminded more than we need to be taught’. The prodigal dad was the one who did the running from ‘a great way off’ when the son appeared on the horizon, stinking, dishevelled, exhausted, and at the end of himself….

Simples, huh?

And the truth is…. I am STILL shy, though I think there are a few who’d doubt that 🙂 – and I’m still incredibly nervous before EVERY meeting, whether it’s to 5 people or 5,000 people. It makes no difference. People who know me, especially those who travel with me, will tell you I sit there as the time creeps towards being ‘introduced’, shuffling papers in my Bible, checking in the concordance at the back (or on my phone!) whether I’ve got the right text, and saying, almost always, ‘Why did I say I’d do this?’

You’ll never beat fear by trying to manage it: you’ll only beat fear by running at it, full tilt, and crashing through it. And the butterflies will never stop: you just need to MAKE them fly in formation!