2 Corinthians 4: 8 ff
8: we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; 9: persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10: always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11: For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12: So death works in us, but life in you. 13: But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I BELIEVED, THEREFORE I SPOKE,” we also believe, therefore we also speak, 14: knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you.
John 16:33
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
An update on the last post here – I’m so, so grateful for the responses I’ve had from a good number of people to the huge and varied onslaught that was suddenly unleashed at me 10 days ago. The scriptures above have been reassuring – I know that in part what ‘hit’ me is what Jesus said – ‘you WILL have trouble’. That means that somewhere along the way the enemy has wanted to stamp his foot on who am I, what I do, and while I’d love to say that I could – from the start of the battering – say what Paul wrote in Corinthians. I know that I WAS crushed, in despair, and – being totally honest here, feeling that God was sitting on his hands with gaffer tape over his mouth… I’d like to say I won’t – haven’t – stayed there, but as soon as you get your head above the parapet again, you’re open to further attack…
I’m very much aware, as I wrote in a Facebook post, that some of what has blitzed me has come from a small number of jealous christian people (small ‘c’ on purpose) who in their jealousy have (and I know who they are) cursed me, literally: and while no weapon formed against us – me – will prosper, the Bible doesn’t say it won’t AFFECT you – just that it won’t last. If nothing ever affected us, why did Jesus say what he did in John 16:33? When in recent months news has spread about a ‘big name’ worship leader walking away from his ministry, church, and faith: a young pastor is California of a ‘thriving’ church committing suicide: a mega-church teaching pastor whose books influenced generations of young people admitting he was wrong and again, walking away from his church, faith, withdrawing all those books from publication – then there are clearly plenty of times when the weapons of the enemy – often directed, aimed, and fired by other believers – DO prosper and sometimes debilitate and damage us so much that we can’t fight back.
That’s why I’m grateful for the messages I’ve received, and the prayers of a number of people. Much of the onslaught recently has come from a very dysfunctional family situation, which for obvious reasons I can’t go into in a public blog. Those who know me well know my family situation – and a number of things have come into my line of vision that I knew nothing about that are devastating and emotionally incredibly distressing. A massive ‘revelation’ that totally blitzed me. Please – if you pray for me – pray for my family. It’s many years now since I saw my children – now 40, 39, and 37 – and I so want to believe that the story of the Prodigal Father is my story.
If you would also pray for something I’ve mentioned before – having had a ‘mobility-limited’ year, I seem to have fallen off of the ‘radar’ of a lot of people who previously asked me to minister in their churches and situations. My love for people, sharing a lifetime of testimonies, encouraging people to believe that miracles and healing can become a part of their life, and, of course, praying for people to be healed myself, is who I am… Being in constant pain 24/7 with osteoarthritis in both knees (not realistically replaceable through surgery) for some 25 years has heightened my passion to see everyone vI meet released from pain as I know how wearying, tiring, and – sometimes – demoralising it can be. If you’ve followed my escapades over the last 40 years – may be the last 10 more because of this blog – you’ll know that God has graciously used me to see tens of thousands of people healed of just about every type of sickness, disease, and pain, and to see – only because of God’s power – a few people raised from the dead.
My life for 41 years now has been dedicated to following God’s call on my life, and yes, it has cost me – everything. But God told me it would be worth it, and that I was never to ‘charge’ – ‘Freely you have received, freely give’ someone famous(!) once said, and while I’m unspeakably in debt to the few regular supporters I have, offerings and gifts from churches and groups are an essential part of ‘survival’ and funding overseas trips, where my passion is well documented.
Right now, I desperately need a permanent home – it’s 36 years since selling the last house I ‘owned’ (mortgaged!) – and God has assured me that a home will be mine again in the near future. It would be wonderful to have somewhere that I can crash out, and also have people to stay from time to time. Humanly – financially – it isn’t possible as I’m pretty unmortgageable at almost 67 years old, though I have no plans to retire even with the pain limitations my knees try and inflict on me – I think I fall outside of the category ‘first-time buyer’ at my age!
I’m just emerging – I hope – from the battering of the past two weeks: I know that God is the restorer of my soul, and I look to him to restore it more – and provide ‘the table for me in the presence of my enemies’.
