Well, I wanted to make it fun…. hence the header! Thank you, so much, all who’ve prayed for me the past weeks, and especially Monday and yesterday. For those who haven’t read here before, I’ve been subject to a prognosis of possible bowel cancer for some weeks now. Monday night, after enjoying a nostalgic trip down memory lane, seeing the classic rock music/theatre performance of The Who and ‘Quadrophenia’, I arrive home to drink vast volumes of laxative… a litre, to be honest, plus a couple of litres of water, and then again at 6 am yesterday morning, another litre/2 litres… in preparation for my internal video show, courtesy of a lovely bunch of wonderfully skilled and pleasant staff at the Downe Hospital, Downpatrick.

I’d heard that the laxative was – hmm – thorough – man alive, and you can shut your eyes before reading on if you’re of a weak disposition! – I took it at 11.30 pm, and – quite literally – I didn’t leave the bathroom until 10.30 am…. 🙁 – total detox, the colonologist called it! My biggest concern, with Alan picking me up at 11 am to take me there, was that I might have to go in his car (someone has to take you, because of the sedative they give you) before the bathroom stage had ended! You are warned in advance not to stray too far from a loo, and that the ‘after-shock’ might be loud and frequent for a few hours. Hence the header of the post…! It was like a water-cannon…..

God’s been so, so good to me these weeks, though: I’ve had the most incredible peace, and haven’t been able to worry, even if I’d tried to I couldn’t have. I think some folk have WANTED me to worry: my line is, ‘If I’ve got bowel cancer, what good will worrying do? And if I haven’t, why did I worry?’.

Well, I HAVEN”T got bowel cancer. Thank you, Lord. The big event was made easy by the lovely staff at the hospital. I’m pretty immune to painkillers, having taking some ‘heavy duty” ones over the years for these knees, so I was fully conscious as the colonologist, glorying in the wonderfully Irish name of Brendan Byrne, was so skilled, chatting to him and the nurses as I watched it all on the same monitor as him. I have to say the inside of your bowel is a fascinating adventure, and he stopped for some sightseeing at my appendix: how many people do you know who’ve seen their own appendix from the inside, eh??!!

I won’t say it was a relief to hear that I have what I thought mostly old people (lol!!) got – haemorrhoids (dunno if I’ve spelled that right, it’s an American smell checker on this programme!) – internal – and nothing more than that. They were the villain of the piece in the original ‘pooh sticks’ test, it seems.

So, thank you, all who’ve prayed for me: seems now, just the knees to go, and I’m a fit, healthy young man again…. Bless you, I DO appreciate you!

And now, today, I have to resume the fight with the moving company from the USA, the shipping company in Liverpool who are threatening to dispose of my stuff as ‘abandoned’, and taking the battle to the next level, as it is highly unlikely I’ll get my money back from the the now-defunct (it seems) moving company.