I’ve not posted here for a few days: as I’ve said before, I don’t want to post when all I have to report is what I’ve eaten for dinner, what I watched on TV, how many visits to the loo, etc., as seem to be a lot ‘Facebook’ posts! – but it has been a week of exceedingly mixed emotions, and contrast.
The ‘upside’ is that my dear friends Alan & Barbara – and yours truly! – have confirmed a July visit to wonderful Cali, Colombia. Wonderfully, God has provided for us all, the means to get there, or most of it: we wondered why the ticket prices were so high, as it’s not like Colombia has a ‘summer’ season, like we do: seasons there are dry and rainy, temperatures remain pretty much the same year round. THEN, Barbara discovered the reason – one I should have remembered! – that the 2013 World Games happen whilst we are there! No wonder airlines have increased their fares… 🙁 – but it should make the city even more enjoyable, and the taxi drivers even more manic!
There’s a brilliant promo video for the Games – here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE8fA6FU42U&feature=youtu.be
– well worth a watch if you have a historic, stereotypical image of what this wonderful city is like. It’s going to be so wonderful to be there with A & B!
The other side of the coin is another of those ‘thorny’ issues that seem to be constantly bombarding me, concerning the USA. A little of my ‘stuff’ from the house there is now, theoretically, ‘on the water’ across the Atlantic, en route for Belfast. Other of said ‘stuff’ was supposed to have been sold, following Lee’s visit to sort the house out, last November. Nothing got sold, or even advertised: but basically, it was ‘home’. It was a bit of a shock to discover that ‘home’ had been sold for a little over US$300: I was anticipating that it would be at least four figures, and beginning with a reasonable number!
Seven years ago, my home in Worthing was burgled twice, and arson-attacked: anyone who has had the misfortune of being burgled will know the feeling of ‘violation’ it brings. For a couple of days this week, I felt even more ‘violated’, especially when you factor in that the house, owned by two dear friends in the UK, needs, it seems, to be redecorated before it can be sold, and the owners reimbursed with the sale proceeds. The house was supposedly redecorated some 2¾ years ago (don’t forget I’ve not been there for 4 years!) after a huge flood: and to my knowledge, no one has lived there since….
I have to confess, Tuesday night, and Wednesday, to being somewhat angry – I think (hope?) it was righteous anger, and feeling extremely ‘let-down’: but Wednesday, I sat here at my computer, and suddenly had an astonishing pain in my chest, the like of which I’d never experienced, but that I’ve heard people who have had heart-attacks, describe. I realised pretty quickly it was stress, and sat here, and, as best I could, shouted TO God and AT Satan – one to ask him stop the pain, and the crushing feeling, the other to leave me alone and get his hands off of me…. I’m delighted to say, it went…. Stress, and anything related to it that causes it, can do astonishing things to you physically, can’t it? I realised, too, that some of the stress was caused through losing my ‘stuff’…. four times now I’ve lost my home, almost in its entirety, and I always feel that I’ve dealt with what possessions can do to you, only to discover there’s another measure of it that I haven’t dealt with! Hopefully, that was the last time… and I’ve learned now…
If you’ve ever lost your home, you’ll know what I mean. But once again, I had to let God take care of what I couldn’t do anything about, and today, I can look at the loss now, and just say – ‘o.k., it’s gone: what now, Lord?’ My belief is that we don’t know how much possessions mean to us until we don’t have them anymore… and how they can cripple us, affect us, and even disable us spiritually.
For 36 hours, I was, I’ll admit, in the pits. I’m not now, thankfully, and thank you, Lord! So, tonight, to celebrate, I’m heading off to the Odyssey auditorium in Belfast to see what was given to me as a 60th birthday gift – a concert with the amazing Eric Clapton – his 50th anniversary tour! Then I’ll get home, and, into the night, watch the recording of Brighton & Hove Albion, one of my two football ‘loves’ (West Ham being the other), thrash arch-enemies Crystal Palace in the first leg of the Championship play-off semi-finals! Thank God for music and football! (the proper sort, not that American namby-pamby helmets and ‘Dallas-like’ shoulder pads sort – that’s just rugby for wimps!)….
Hey mate, continuing to pray God’s oil, blessings & total healing for you! Agree with everything you’ve said except the BHA bit!
Dear Paul,
In 1998/99 I was in a job that was hard work, exacting and involved long hours. I was organizing ‘Guest of Government’ visits to the UK. It was a whirl of stretch Jaguar limousines and 5 star hotels. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. I had no concept of the toll it and certain matters in my private life at the time, were taking on my health. It was April 1st 1999 and the last day of a particularly challenging visit for the Chinese Premiere. I was used to all the ‘t’s and ‘i’s being crossed and dotted, but the Chinese took this discipline to new levels; probably because the flunkies were so petrified of their boss. Anyway, we got through it and after a lunch at No.10 the visit concluded. Around 4pm I got a lift from the Mandarin Hotel to my home in Crystal Palace in one of the Jags. I made myself a tea and prepared to relax. Suddenly I felt unwell and decided to lie down ’til the feeling past. But it became clear to me that things were not going to get better. I went outside for some air and soon dialed 999 for myself. Whilst waiting for the ambulance to arrive I wondered whether I was having an heart attack and whether ‘this was IT’! I began to think of the people I should ring to say ‘goodbye’. There was one person I thought of in particular. But I quickly put such thoughts aside and decided that this was not going to be “IT”. The ambulance came. The crew did some preliminary procedures in the vehicle, shaving some of my chest hair to attach a sensor. “Hey”, I said. “Its taken me 45 years to grow that”. Eventually they asked me where I’d like to go. I said I’d rather leave that up to them. They thought for a moment and decided that King’s had been rather quiet that day. So King’s College Hospital, Denmark Hill it was.
They diagnosed my condition as an aortic aneurism brought on by high blood pressure. The aorta has three layers and the higher blood flow had begun to strip away the inner layers. A potentially fatal condition if left unchecked. I was admitted to the ICU where I stayed for two weeks. They lowered my blood pressure and told me that complete rest for 6 months and taking of daily medication would repair the damage. My darling sister offered to care for me at her comfortable home in a Devon village. I took things very easy and watched a lot of daytime tv. By September I was fit enough to drive to southern France to spend a couple of weeks on holiday with friends. I even played tennis! I returned to work in London. Although they never said as much, my postability to foreign parts became a no-no. I suspect they didn’t want to risk an expensive medevac. All jobs carry a certain degree of stress and the culture of long hours in Whitehall is hard to go against. So after a career of 30 years, when the opportunity for early retirement came along in 2005, I grabbed it and have not looked back. I have ended up in a quiet back-water of the planet on a Pacific island in The Philippines.
The moral?: In my early thirties they had detected higher than normal BP and said that needed keeping an eye on. I didn’t, and the aneurism saga was the result. Fortunately I survived, but it could have gone the other way. On reflection, I perhaps should have made those ‘farewell’ calls after all.
Get a thorough check-up Paul. You’ve seen close up the healing power of God, but you’ve also known his reluctance to directly intervene in your own healing needs. He also helps those that help themselves. A trip to the docs now could avert a spell in ICU and/or a longer spell with your feet up (if you know what I mean).
I hope a future post from you will report on a trip to the surgery sooner than later.