Testimony Archives - Page 2 of 42

UNOFFENDABLE

Posted on June 26, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony Leave a comment

UNOFFENDABLE

How many of us find ‘offence’ a hard thing to deal with? I doubt any of us find it easy – especially when you look at Matthew 24:10-12 – and betrayal, especially when it is by people you’d have considered friends – is particularly hard to deal with. I’ve been battling with that very issue in recent months – from three people – all of them betrayed me, using things in accusation or lies that they themselves have major problems with in their own lives. I know that in my life I’ve probably done the same thing to other people (though I hope never betrayal) born out of something I needed God to deal with in me. The three recent occurrences I’ve battled with are from one person I’ve known 35 years, one 20 years, and one much more recent. like in 8 years or so. But boy it hurts. Even when God’s shown you that stones being thrown at you are being hurled by people who live in glass houses…

I’ve been asking God to deal with that ‘instant’ offence that rises up without warning so that it doesn’t take root. That might sound easy, but if you’ve been betrayed or accused, it’s much easier said than done! I’ve forgiven the people concerned, believe (and feel) that I’m not carrying any offence (one was an unbelievable email from someone I’ve served for a number of years that I’m praying how to respond to as the accusations are all to do with his attitude to money giving him the right to control the beneficiary – and who’s not responded to nine ‘olive branch’ messages in 8 months). I so want to be like Jesus who, even in the middle of his crucifixion, chose not to take offence,

The marvellous compassionate preacher/teacher/writer Francis Frangipane says this:

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek. 36:26).
God has a new heart for us, a heart that cannot be offended; it is an “unoffendable” heart. Beloved, possessing an unoffendable heart is not an option or a luxury; it’s not a little thing. Indeed, Jesus warns that, as we near the end of the age, many Christians will be so offended by the sin and lawlessness in the world that they fall away from the faith.
Listen carefully to the Lord’s warning:

“Then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another . . . and because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matt. 24:10-12 KJV).

“Many” will “be offended.” The result? The love of “many” will grow cold. My prayer is that we will hear His words with holy fear.
When we allow an offense to remain and germinate in our hearts, it causes serious spiritual consequences. In the above verse Jesus named three dangerous results: betrayal, hatred and cold love. When we are offended with someone, even someone we care for, we must go to them. If we do not talk to them, we will begin to talk about them. We betray that relationship, whispering maliciously behind their back to others, exposing their weaknesses and sins.
We may mask our betrayal by saying we are just looking for advice or counsel, but when we look back, we see we have spoken negatively about the person to far too many people. Our real goal was not to get spiritual help for ourselves but to seek revenge toward the one who offended us. How is such action not a manifestation of hatred? For an offended soul, cold love, betrayal and hatred are a walk into darkness.
People don’t stumble over boulders; they stumble over stones, relatively small things. It may be that the personality of someone in authority bothers us, and soon we are offended. Or, a friend or family member fails to meet our expectations, and we take an offense into our soul. Beloved, if we will “endure to the end,” we will have to confront the things that bother us.
When Jesus warns that we need endurance, He is saying that it is easier to begin the race than finish it. Between now and the day you die, there will likely be major times of offense that you will need to overcome. You might be in such a time right now. Do not minimize the danger of harboring an offense!
No one plans on falling away; no one ever says, “Today, I think I’ll try to develop a hardened, bitter heart.” Such things enter our souls through stealth. It is only naiveté that assumes it couldn’t happen to us. I know many people who consistently become offended about one thing or another. Instead of dealing with the offense, praying about it and turning the issue over to God, they carry it in their soul until its weight disables their walk with God.
You may be doing fine today, but I guarantee you, tomorrow something will happen that will inevitably disappoint or wound you; some injustice will strike you, demanding you retaliate in the flesh. Will you find more love, and hence, continue your growth toward Christlikeness? Or will you allow that offense to consume your spiritual life?

Francis Frangipane

There’s a great book by Rick Renner – ‘You can get over it: how to confront, forgive, and move on’ (https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Can-Get-Over-Confront/dp/0977945928/ref=sr_1_19?crid=1TV2IKIOW77A9&keywords=rick+renner+books&qid=1561549901&s=gateway&sprefix=rick+renner%2Caps%2C645&sr=8-19)

which is very helpful. I’m re-reading the ‘confront’ part again and asking God if I should address the issues, but feeling – even as I write – ‘that Jesus opened not his mouth’. Better, perhaps to ‘move on’ from those ‘friendships’ (‘friendly fire’ isn’t a joke – it’s exceedingly painful) – much better ones have replaced them with people who don’t have a ‘control’ agenda, whereas the others did. I cannot understand why anyone would WANT to control another person or people – when love doesn’t control, doesn’t manipulate – those things are rooted in the Jezebel Spirit, (which I mentioned a few times in recent posts here and on Facebook because her activity is stepping up big time in this era). Read Revelation 2:20 if you want to read what some churches ‘look’ like, yet who they tolerate, and God is not pleased to say the least!

If you’ve suffered from betrayal, I want to you to know there’s a way through it. Jesus knows how you feel – he experienced it – and ask him to give you the power to confront (if you need to, but in love), forgive, and move on. It doesn’t mean that you have to be best friends with the person/people/church again, but you’re free as you’ve forgiven. And that’s the key.

REMEMBER ‘SWORD DRILL’ IN SUNDAY SCHOOL? HERE IT IS TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL!

Posted on June 20, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Evangelism, Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Travel Leave a comment

Back in the 1980’s I had the privilege (? – terrifying before I went!) of going to China for the first time, and then a number of times, ostensibly to take Bibles to a nation where there are churches of 10’s of thousands of members with ONE Bible between them. I thought about my home back in the UK ad tried to a mental count up of the number of Bibles in my house. With ‘old’ ones and newer ones, different translations, etc., I realised it was probably around 40. Watch this short video, and then read on…. (you might have to copy and paste the link into your browser – it’ll be worth the ‘effort!)…

In the video you’ll have heard about how pastors went for 13 hours by train for a three-day seminar, sitting on hard floors, no air conditioning, and the preacher/teacher spoke non-stop for 9 hours. He’d not taken enough Bibles to give everyone a copy, but in China, vast numbers of people have memorised large parts of the Bible – in some cases – ALL of it – (Samuel Lamb – or Lín Xiàn-gāo 林獻羔 to give him his Chinese name: Wang Ming Dao, the father of the House Church movement in China to name but two). I had the honour of meeting Brother Yun, too (刘振营; Liú Zhènyíng) – who is well known in the west now as the Heavenly Man. When Yun was in prison, where he fasted without food and water for 74 days, he was frequently tortured, and often put in solitary confinement as he refused to stop preaching and praying for people. If you were to read his story written long before ‘The Heavenly Man’ was published, in ‘Lilies among Thorns’, you’ll read this, in Chapter 6 (precied for space!). He was beaten with electric batons, ropes, and leather whips until his body was cut open and he had wounds everywhere. He was in intense pain. He was then put in solitary confinement for 100 days: a room a mere 12 square feet (not 12 feet square! My maths was always my worst subject at school – well, after woodwork and sciences! but I reckon that’s 4 feet by 3feet, or 1.3 metres by 1 metre maximum)). It had been closed up for a year, was very damp, and the smell of mildew was overwhelming. The room has one very dim light. He heard a bird chirping outside the cell, and asked God when he would be free like that bird. God spoke 1 Peter 2:21 to him: ‘For even hereunto were you called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow in his steps’. Yun says he fell to his knees, crying out ‘Lord, I am willing, willing to follow in your footsteps.’ His hear was consumed with love, joy and peace, so he sang. He’d not read the Bible for days, his hunger for one was intense, and he prayed to the Lord for one. He had a dream in which he saw the handcuffs fall off and he was holding a Bible and reading it. Yun woke, and the handcuffs fell off….

Next morning, one of his chief persecutors pushed a Bible through the lattice window – wow, was THAT unlikely! He usually tore Bibles up, but he was giving one to Yun. ‘Yun wept with joy. He studied the Bible day and night, and in the SHORT period of 90 days left in solitary confinement, he read the entire Bible through, but memorised ALL of the Scriptures from Hebrews to Revelation, a total of 55 chapters.

I’m the first to confess that my knowledge of Scripture has a load of gaps…. I know quite a few Scriptures but please, don’t always ask me where they are! Many I DO know I learned in Children’s Church at Victoria Drive Baptist Church (later to be Victoria Baptist Church, Eastbourne), Sunday School, Christian Endeavour, and Covenanters, in the late 50s to the late 60’s, doing ‘Sword Drill’ – our Children’s Church leader, the lovely Alice Dowding, was an avid ‘Sword Drill’ leader – where you stood with your ‘sword’ (Bible) under your arm, a verse would be quoted, the instruction ‘DRAW’ would be given, and the first to find it would be so chuffed. Verses in books like Obadiah and Zephaniah were particularly challenging! I remember many scriptures (KJV of course, then!) – but the Chinese take it to a whole new level.

One pastor told me that in their cells, they had (generally) a filthy toilet, but each was connected to the same main sewer pipe, so they’d use their clothes to soak up the water, and then, with their heads down the pan, would preach to the person in the next cell if they weren’t saved, or recite Scriptures which they’d write down, then memorise….and so the Bible would be learned and the gospel would be preached with heads down the filthy toilet…..

Sort of puts sword drill and my own personal knowledge of the Bible into the shade somewhat…

YOU’RE FAR TOO MUCH FUN TO LEAVE ALONE!

Posted on June 18, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Humour, Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony Leave a comment

I’ve just acquired Rolland & Heidi Baker’s new devotional book, ‘Joyful Surrender’. I love the Bakers, I love that at the base of EVERY miracle they see – and they see thousands, not just in Mozambique – is love and care for people. It’s something I’ve wanted to be the basis of the 40+ years that I’ve had the honour of serving God for: Larry Norman sang years ago Without love you ain’t nothing, you ain’t nothing without love’.

For me, the desire for ‘status’ or ‘position’ or ‘recognition’ mean nothing: I’ve always asked God to keep me from being ‘well known’ – once you are, it changes you, and changes people’s perception of how ‘accessible’ you are to them.

I’ve met the Bakers a few times – and had the privilege of serving on ministry teams where they’ve been the ministers. It reminded me that on one occasion, every time I prayed for someone (who God very graciously healed, but then he’s promised to!), Rolland (who as well as being a mighty man of God is also great fun – other things I’ve aspired to!) came up to me, with fingers together like a gun, and ‘shot’ me with the Holy Spirit, sending me flying across the room or crashing to the floor! When I asked him why he kept doing it and seemed to ‘pick me out’, he gave me one of the best answers that has stayed with me ever since: ‘Love the way you minister to people, and you’re far too much fun to leave alone!’.

He couldn’t have said anything better to me if he’d spent hours working on it!!

LOVELY MIRACLES AND HEALINGS!

Posted on June 17, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Evangelism, Journal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Travel Leave a comment

Last Sunday, I had the privilege of speaking at a church I’ve been in close relationship with for well over 30 years. Not a big church – to be honest, I love smaller churches, always have – in Addlestone, Surrey. I had a couple of friends with me, as I knew they’d both have things to contribute to the meeting – and they did: Thanney was over from Northern Ireland to stay with me, and do any ‘decorating repairs to the flat/apartment as you can’t even leave a nail hole where you’ve put a picture up! – and another great friend who is prophetic has words of knowledge, is very discerning… It was truly a lovely time!

Thanney spoke early in my ‘slot’ about miracles he’d seen in Cali, Colombia – on his first visit which was primarily to build (he’s a builder, strangely enough!!) – and wanted to SEE a miracle and ended up seeing God use him to do many! Him telling his own stories is so much more effective than me telling someone else’s testimonies – and it raised faith a lot! The elderly blind lady (born blind) with top-to-toe osteoarthritis getting her sight and complete freedom from her pain, a lovely young couple who’d not been able to have children for many years finding they were expecting almost immediately…. We prayed for a good number of people, and God wonderfully healed the arthritic shoulders of a lovely Sri Lankan bother, Pinto: a growing and painful hernia for a young man Josh, an avid and excellent competiton swimmer, for whom the hernia was very painful – the pain went, and the hernia shrank almost totally: a number of others healed too, but perhaps the most exciting was for a young mum (I’ll withhold her name) whose home was afflicted and tormented by occultic spirits, causing a lot of fear in her children, abnormally fearful nightmares for them, and general negative disruption to the whole family. Richard, the pastor, suggested that the kids write Psalm 4:8 out and stick it beside their beds (they’re like 3 and 4 years old 🙂 ) – and they slept unbroken nights and they kept speaking it out until they went to sleep…. one of the kids is going to be dedicated, and mum said the whole atmosphere in the home had changed. The kids were even up and dressed and ready for school on Monday which never happens.

It’s so wonderful when God changes the atmosphere, and especially brings peace to kids…. I’m sure there’ll be more positive stories from that one as the days go by!

From the same meeting, I had this email from a lovely Nigerian brother, James:

Hi Paul,
Greetings. Just wanted to say hi and to appreciate what I believe is a God-ordained contact between my family and you plus your team partners ‘Ron’ (my apology if I got the name wrong)(Thanney!) today at the Kings Church.
Thanks for blessing our hearts with the wonderful and inspiring testimonies that Jesus, the same yesterday, today and forevermore.
May the Lord continue to prosper His good work through your ministry.
Kind regards ,
James

THANK YOU, JESUS!!!

MOVE ALONG THERE PLEASE…!!!

Posted on June 12, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Travel Leave a comment

I try to take one day at a time. Looking ahead often makes me feel overwhelmed. I can’t look at tomorrow’s challenges with today’s grace. But I remind myself that all the grace I need for tomorrow will be given to me WHEN I GET THERE. Jesus put it like this,“ “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew‬ ‭6:34‬ ‭

Jesus just has a way with words doesn’t he?

In recent weeks/months – probably the last 18 months since I wasn’t able to walk from January to November last year, I’ve taken this verse ‘on board’ more than ever before. I managed, with help, to get to preach, including going to Colombia – all the way in a wheelchair (apart from the flights!!). I’m eternally very very grateful to God for the lovely brother, Robert Miller, who prayed for me to be able to walk again, at the end of October 2018 – in the months leading up to that each day certainly did have enough trouble of its own! When you live alone and can’t walk, until that hits you, you just don’t think what massive limitations drop on you – everything from getting a glass of water (or mug of coffee :)! to getting food to going to the bathroom to going shopping (I can’t) – I’ve never been so thankful for being able to shop online as I have during this past 18 months! It did help a great deal not eating for long stretches as I lost a lot of weight! – and as soon as mobility returned, God made it clear that I should move.

For me, it’s been a privilege to know just WHY God called me here, even though my time here is nearly ended: to be honest, it’s a great relief, as it’s been a constant spiritual battle, so much so that the enemy’s attack (in the ‘form’ of the Jezebel spirit – yes, its very, very real!) – not only on those God sent me here for but also on me, has been the most intense I’ve ever experienced in my 40-odd years of ministry. I’m looking forward very much much to where God is moving me to next, though humanly I can’t afford another move! God seems to be moving ahead of me with a potential miracle, but of course, until a miracle happens, you can’t ‘predict’ it or budget for it!

I thought I’d worked out where my new home would be, but God hi-jacked my thinking – as he often has over the years! – and I’ve learned in 40-50 years that to argue with him is fruitless! I had a number of options in my mind, but discounted a couple because of ‘geography’ (like distance from airports, accessibility to the rest of the U.K. etc., a big consideration for me), and guess where it seems that God is taking me??! It looks as though I’m heading for the ‘land of my fathers’ – and in reality the birthplace of my wonderful dad, Wales – so I’m already 50% Welsh – and interestingly, I’m told to a town that was never touched by the Welsh revival and that threw John Wesley out when he went to preach there! – Welshpool (the first 5 letters are a bit of a giveaway as to where it is!).

Why Welshpool? Well, why not? It’s close to England, close to Snowdonia. I’ve been there a few times to speak, at their lovely ‘Filling Station’ meetings, and that because of very long time friends Jonathan and Kathryn, who’ve been there about 17 years, but we spent a long time together in Worthing in the late 80’s & 90’s, and Kathryn and I have a shared unbelievable miracle in that she was the driver of the car in the well-document car-crash in 1994 when her Metro was crushed between the two 38 ton trucks….Where God REALLY got me I think, is in the fact that what they – and others who have become good friends are establishing there is a fellowship of spirit-filled believers based on an Acts 2 style of church who love and care not only for each other, but others in their area, praying and seeing God change lives. It’s simple, straightforward, and very Biblical. Jonathan clinched it when he messaged me the other day with this –

Fantastic- I hadn’t said this to you but several years ago when I used to pray with Hazel and Richard interceding for the town and area I had a thought – a God thought- I said to Hazel- it would be great if my friend Paul could come here – and you did with the filling stations- but I think there was more to it than that😀😀

To know that for several years friends have been praying for what now seems to be happening is SO wonderfully affirming, and confirmatory by God. I’ve longed for many years to be in a ‘church’ that is a community of love and care, which is SO attractive to people who are not-yet-Christians, If ever the world – including the UK – needed love and care, it’s now. Back in the 1970’s I was in a church (that began as a youth group!) that grew and grew into a wonderful caring church because the leaders, the lovely Brian & Penny Hill, LIVED love and care, and we were in and out of their home and each others’ homes constantly. A church in Hailsham in the late 70’s and 80’s was like that, too. Love and care breeds love and care. A homegroup and youth group I had the privilege of leading from about 1985 was a bit like that, with the folk often arriving 2 hours before the meeting ‘started’ (though when they arrived, that was ‘church’ starting!).

Without love and care being the foundation of a group of people – or in our individual lives with friends – you don’t have church, and all the modern ‘buzz’ words like ‘apostolic kingdom church’ mean nothing when love isn’t the base foundation. Of course the infamous James Jones began ‘well’ – as a charismatic Assemblies of God pastor who was a ‘control’ freak (one of the key characteristics of the Jezebel spirit) whose control ended up with more than 900 people committing suicide in Guyana, and murder of those who went to expose him. I think Jesus made love the essential foundation, making it abundantly clear numerous times in the gospels, and he didn’t even establish a church, leaving behind him a community of people who loved and cared. Yes, there ARE apostles, but I think we’ve ‘bandied’ titles around too easily in the last 30 years: the legendary Tony Campolo – Doctor of theology, sociology, University professor and so much more – preaches ‘Do you want titles, or testimonies?’ I know without a doubt what I want – TESTIMONIES!! We’ve become obsessed with titles, along with the ‘importance’ of ‘our’ church – and most of the people claiming titles for themselves are not what they call themselves! I heard of one church recently where one of the leaders said their church was an apostolic kingdom church, but if you want to love and care for people, and be loved and cared for by the people, it’s the wrong place. I’d have to say to that person they don’t HAVE a church, they have a ‘buzzword’ club, I pray that it isn’t heading for ‘Guyana’ status…. 🙁 . ‘They’ll know you’re my disciples by the way you LOVE one another’ someone very famous once said!!

By this EVERYONE will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another…..

Posted on May 20, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Travel Leave a comment

When I saw this quote from the lovely Derek Prince recently, I was just going to re-post it on Facebook, but it carries a very powerful message for the church today, so in my own amateurish theological understanding, I felt I wanted to write a post here instead.

For me, the church should be a place of safety, love, care, protection – as well as a place for corporate worship, communion, prayer, and teaching. A place where – out of care and love, the desire and passion to ‘go into all the world and preach the gospel’ comes. I grew up in a ‘hymn-prayer-preach sandwich sort of church, until going to a youth group at another church about 20 miles away in the late 1960’s. My friend Andy and I felt that God was leading us there, well, there were a large number of lovely-looking single girls our age (!!!), whereas where we lived (then – no name mentioned!) it was best described as ‘God’s Waiting room’ or ‘a cemetery with lights’. (I think it’s changed a bit in the last 50 years!).

The Youth Group, led by a wonderful couple – Brian & Penny Hill – opened their home to a large – and growing – number of young people a number of times in the week (think: teenagers/nice home/damage/stuff spilled!), and were almost always available if we needed to talk. I even played squash regularly with Brian. I owe so much of who I am and what I do to Brian and Penny, and people they brought in to teach us, help us, equip us, and send us ‘out’ – like Clive and Ruth Calver, Graham Kendrick, Ishmael, Gerald Coates. I went from being a churchian to a full-blown Holy Spirit filled Christian very quickly. The love, care, and commitment of Brian and Penny – I look back now – and see it was almost legendary, as so many churches are focused on size, reputation, The youth group ‘grew’ into a thriving church – not huge, but then I really prefer small churches, as you can get to know and love people, and get to be known and loved. It was a group in unity, diverse in the people in it but with a tremendous love from and for Brian & Penny which filtered down to us as individuals. If you were hurting, you’d get help: if you were sick, you’d get prayer (I was healed there of a spinal birth defect – a hole in my spine where there shouldn’t have been a hole, resulting in constant life-long (about 20 years at that stage) back-ache. Somehow managed to play rugby through my teens (from 11, actually, to about 21, to a reasonable standard). Through Clive Calver, a man named George Tarleton came to the fellowship, prayed for me, could see my back was out of line, and in seconds it was healed. A visit to the hospital for x-rays/scans showed no hole there. And this was before healing was ‘famous’! I’d already been healed of being celiac. This would have been about 1974, and the big nationwide charismatic renewal happened a couple of years later.

For me, I’d give a great deal and go a long way, to be in an Acts 2:42ff church like that was. For me, the priority of church is to love and be loved, care and be cared for, and to serve. Relationships have always been a major ‘must’ for me, and many of my friendships go back well over 30+ years, some many more years than that. Quite a few of my current friends on Facebook (and yes, we’re in touch, not just a number!) were in that church.

John 17:21-23 – The Passion Translation, says this:
I pray for them all to be joined together as one^[a] even as you and I, Father, are joined together as one. I pray for them to become one with us so that the world will recognize that you sent me. For the very glory you have given to me I have given them so that they will be joined together as one and experience the same unity that we enjoy. You live fully in me and now I live fully in them so that they will experience perfect unity, and the world will be convinced that you have sent me, for they will see that you love each one of them with the same passionate love that you have for me.

God, I pray that Jesus’s prayer will be answered…. Church, in my non-academic understanding of theology, is a place that should first and foremost should be like Acts 2:42ff…. Where people go and are loved, cared for accepted, where ‘devotion to communion and prayer’ were the PRIORITY (if I remember, Jesus said at the last supper ‘do this EVERY time you meet, in memory of me’ so if we don’t do it we’re disobeying his request and relegating him to a place of less importance, right?) – because of the way they ‘did’ church, they saw signs and wonders and were filled with awe…. When anyone had a need it was met by the others, including selling property and possessions to do it – do our properties and possessions possess us rather than we possess them? Is our future security more important than someone else’s need NOW? Or do we trust the God who provides for ALL of our needs to help someone in need today? Because of the way church was then, they had favour with ALL the people and the kingdom grew because they loved each other as more were saved every day…

Jesus said in John 13:35: (NIV) “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I’m so grateful that my whole life was coloured by Brian & Penny Hill, Clive and Ruth Calver, and Graham Kendrick, in those amazing years around the 70’s. Thank you, all of you – but especially to you, Brian (Penny went to enjoy the great Youth Group with Jesus a few years ago) – for loving us, despite all the frustrations you must have gone through – into a place where Jesus and each other were the central focus of our lives. I know, that 50 years on, Jesus still IS the central focus of my life, and for that, through you, I am eternally grateful.

THE COST OF THE BATTLE – BUT THE BATTLE BELONGS TO THE LORD!!!

Posted on May 19, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Travel Leave a comment

Since what has turned out to be a temporary move to North Kent (the owner of my flat has decided to sell it, and my initial tenancy was only for 6 months anyway), I’m on the road again in another sense! I’m asking God where he wants me to move to (with a degree of urgency in my voice!) – I’ve begun to see the fulfillment of what was prophesied over me last year that there would be an advance and increase in what God does. As always with those things, which is a privilege, honouring, and challenging, comes a backlash from the enemy.

Since being here, I’ve never, in 40 years in serving God, experienced ‘enemy onslaught’ like recent months: from unbelievable pain in my knees: to betrayal: to theft: being on the receiving end of curses from ‘friends’ (do any of you know what being wounded by ‘friendly fire’ feels like?) to loss of possessions: and spiritual attack like I’ve never known. I’m thrilled with what I’ve seen God do, and – this may sound to some of you – the blessing of having someone with me on a ministry trip who said ‘I saw how much it cost you to do what you do physically (as well as spiritually) today’.

I’ve had the privilege of standing with friends in their own spiritual onslaught and seeing them come through it following a similar battle I fought a few decades back. For many years I’ve known about, and done battle with, a particular spirit – Jezebel – and these months have been a constant battle against her. You remember she wanted to destroy Elijah after his amazing miracle and faith on Mount Carmel. You may be among those who think this sort of stuff doesn’t happen today, that it’s all a bit freaky: I want to tell you it’s very real! Friday was a very REAL day I can tell you!

About 15 years ago, in North Dakota, I lived a little in the fulfilment of a dream! I’ve always wanted to go across the United States in a Winnebago or American Eagle motorhome: I was in a 60 feet long American Eagle, incredible vehicle, living my dream if only in the Dakotas! It was fabulous! After an amazing meeting the night before, I woke next morning totally paralysed down my left side. The evening before a young man, William, had been miraculously healed, he was born with his feet splayed at right angles to his legs, and the ‘shame’ of not being able to do sport – especially in the USA – had caused him to have acute eczema. His mum turned out to be a witch, and cursed me for praying and for healing her son – bizarre or what??!! The Pastor I was with, Jim Samuelson, with whom I was on a preaching ‘road trip’ in the Dakotas, took me to the local hospital, where I was xrayed, blood tested, and scanned within a very short time. The doctors said that I’d had a number of TIAs (transient ischemic attacks – mini-strokes): the local pastors prayed for me after I was told I’d be hospitalised for a while, and Jim phoned ahead to a church we were heading for to get them to pray, where they two amazing men of God speaking, Bill Johnson and Bobby Conner, who prayed for me too: two hours later I walked out of the hospital to go and preach that afternoon having not been able to move for about 4 hours after I woke up. It was a wonderful feeling to arrive at the church and have Bill and Bobby lead a verbal and clapped thank you to God for a miracle….

Something very similar happened in Colombia about 5 years ago, after a wonderful day of miracles in a hospital: the Irish and French team I had with me thought I was mucking about when I couldn’t walk straight, was talking gobbledegook (some people think I do that all the time!!), then realised it was serious, prayed for me, and it went……

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend, having gone through a particularly tough series of ‘attacks’, and seen God do some lovely things, when I realised I’d started speaking odd, couldn’t make my mouth work properly one side, heard myself talking about someone cooking me a leg of lamb (!!dream on!!) and could see on my friend’s face utter astonishment… Another TIA had struck – I’m absolutely convinced it was Jezebel-instigated. Being told you look weird by people with you is odd (but don’t I always?) It lasted about 15 minutes, then I ‘heard’ my own spirit speak out loud and with total clarity, commanding Jezebel to get off of me in Jesus’s name, out of my flat/apartment, leave these friends alone, in a totally lucid voice, and she went… It was a weird few minutes to say the least… But we have total authority over such attacks because of Jesus and his victory over evil and the enemy… We don’t realise the authority and power that we ALL have – when Paul wrote of Jesus in Colossians 1:15ff – he said in verse 19 that ‘God was pleased to put all of his fulness into Jesus’ In John 20:21, when Jesus is just about to go back to be with his Father, he said ‘and as the Father sent me, so I send you’…. In John 14:12 Jesus said we’d do what he’d do and GREATER things than He did. Do we REALLY believe these verses? I know that I do, and want to believe them more and more as the years roll on.

I’m so grateful for people who intercede for me, and pray for the things I do. I covet more intercessors! One lovely lady in Scotland, Pamela, messaged me today and said “I draw a line around you that can no longer be invaded by your enemy and enemies. Angels are guarding you and your life can no longer be threatened. I also pray rejection off of you and all effects of the traumas you have been through throughout your entire life. Be healed in this area too. New things are ahead. A new ministry. Not a different one but a newness in your healing ministry. I believe the Lord is going to open your eyes to deeper things that will help you to see into people’s circumstances in a way you haven’t before and this will bring about more healings. More significant healings. Miracles.” Bless you, Pamela… I didn’t have chance to let anyone know while it was happening Friday, but I do know that there are people, in many nations – for which I thank God – who pray for me. THE BATTLE BELONGS TO THE LORD!!!! (And what an amazing song THAT is that we don’t sing anymore!! – bless you for writing it, Jamie Owens-Collins!!).

WHEN GOD MOVES, PREPARE FOR BATTLE!! SOME LOVELY HEALINGS….

Posted on May 13, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Evangelism, Journal, Personal, Testimony, Travel Leave a comment

In recent weeks, since I’ve been more actively involved ‘on the road’ again after last year’s ‘not being able to walk’ problems, it’s been absolutely wonderful to know that – while it seemed that people forgot me last year (apart from a handful, including my lovely not-yet-Christian’ next door neighbours), that God didn’t forget me! I did wonder if, after the best part of a year mostly out of circulation, if I’d be remembered when people wanted someone to speak, or pray for the sick: I’m very grateful that I’ve already had some wonderful opportunities this year, and seen God do some wonderful things. It’s so good to know that the gift and call are irrevocable and that God knows when even a sparrow falls to the ground it isn’t forgotten.

Some of the testimonies from meetings – and people I’ve prayed for in homes – I’ve already told in blogs, but it’s always good to hear that those people are still well, going on with God better than before…. one young man (I won’t mention his name) who’d been having long-term problems with alcoholism, and drug abuse, came and spent some hours in my home, brought here by a very long term friend from 30+ years back…. a local friend who was here, too, just briefly after they’d arrived, had a word of knowledge/encouragement for the young man, started to break down all the walls he’d built around himself to keep God ‘at bay’ – and during the course of a number hours (not intense – on and off in that time!), God set him free…. he desperately needed to pass his driving test (which was the following week) so that he could go back to the country where he was living and working: he wasn’t in the least confident he’d pass. After God had dealt with his history of failures, he passed the driving test with flying colours so much so that the examiner pinned his pass ‘notice’ on the wall to show others what could be done…. He’s doing great back ‘home’ now and has grown in faith, firstly because of the words of encouragement when he arrived, and then by what God did that day and through my friend who’d brought him here….

Had a terrific time in Welshpool, Powys, recently – I have a long-term friendship and life-long bond with one couple there – Jonathan & Kathryn moved there almost 20 years ago, but Kathryn was the driver of their car in which she was taking me to Heathrow in 1994, when we were crushed between two articulated (18 wheelers Americans!) lorries (trucks Americans! – as you know, we’re one nation divided by a common language!). That sort of experience – which should have killed both of us – does tend to forge a bond that is unbreakable!) – I heard another bit of the story that I didn’t know from Kathryn, too! She was first out of the car, being tall and slim: I thought I sort of rose up out of the front windscreen (windshield Americans!) with the big angel’s hands around my arms (they’d obviously been around my arms at some stage as I had massive bruise print finger marks on my biceps) but I guess that was to get me out of the seat belt which was still connected – lap and shoulder straps – Kathryn said I came out of the car really fast, spinning (I pictured it when she told me as like one of those machines they drill tunnels with!) – I had NO idea of that – probably it was just the shock and relief of getting out of the car that filled my mind. She told me about other conversations she had that I wasn’t aware of either! The story gets better and better!!!!

I’d gone to Welshpool to speak at the Filling Station, where God did some lovely healings, including the miraculous release that evening from pain of a man (I haven’t asked his permission to mention his name here) who’d had massive injuries in a car crash and constant pain for many years. I asked him what his pain level was at the start – on a 1-10 scale – and he said 12-15, so that’ll give you some idea. After we chatted and prayed, I asked him what he was feeling (my body is on fire! – which you could see by the sweat on his forehead!) and what was about pain that level now – 1-10 – ‘1’ was his answer, and he could stand up and sit down with no pain which he hadn’t been able to do. Others received either total or partial reduction in pain: other diseases/physical ailments were healed, or the process began…. I love what God wants to do for us, and promised to do – and DOES, through ordinary people like me and you… Went to a few people’s homes the next morning to pray for them – both will only know what’s happened as a result when they return to hospital for tests/check ups/scans….

The journey home was one of rejoicing at having been with such a wonderful bunch of Christians in a little Welsh market town, where their expression of church is very much an Acts 2:44-47 church:

⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

They come together a couple of times a month to meet collectively, and then have ‘The Filling Station’ as an open time of worship, speaking, evangelism, and healing. I love going there, especially because of the ‘car crash’ bond which has made my friendship with Jonathan and Kathryn very precious! Then the long drive back to Northfleet Wednesday afternoon….

…to leave earlyish Saturday morning to go the long drive to Plymouth – so worth the drive to speak at another church I love, City Church – I’ve been going there since the middle ages I think! – but so many of the people there are really great friends, and they bless me so much, and seem to love me a lot! That’s most important to me – to be able to love and bless and be loved and blessed. No startling miracles, but there were people who received relief from pain, someone who’d broken her hand on the Thursday before experienced a big reduction in pain, and the next day (I think) the hospital said that there was no need to for plaster as it was healing well… This story, too, is lovely, about a boy with a number of mental and sociological issues:

Hi Paul. To encourage you. I met Benjamin’s Mum in town today. She said that since you prayed for him there is a big difference in him. Whereas before, if she said something to him he would repeat it back to her but not respond. Now when she says ‘good morning Benjamin ‘ instead of giving a little wave, he says ‘good morning Mummy’. There are other changes as well and she is thrilled and believing God for more. Lots of love Nina

I love it when Good heals instantly, but I love it as much when God begins a process that results in permanent transformation. A couple of Sundays ago, at a wonderful Cafe Church in West London, God released a number of people – many of them desperately poor and some homeless/refugees etc., – of a lot of pain, osteoarthritic knees were eased massively/healed…. a lovely Iranian refugee with chronic knee pain and the other leg ulcerated, received a great amount of release from pain in his arthritic knee – here’s a bit from the email received from a very long-time friend, Godfrey, who runs the cafe church:

I wanted quickly to pass on from Reza, his thanks to both of you, (I had a fantastic faith-filled praying friend with me who’s own healing/word of knowledge gift is such a blessing) and to tell you that the pain in his knee remains very much less ever since you prayed – as he said, one or two out of ten compared to at least five, and it has stayed that way for which he is extremely grateful. He’s hoping to get back to doing some work soon so mobility is very important. The ulcer pain in his other leg is no better, though he said two interesting things. He said that he had wondered on Sunday if this was something that was enabling him to understand how other people feel (as your knees do for you). The other thing is that after we left, and all yesterday, he felt drained of all energy and was falling asleep when some friends came to visit him yesterday – I wondered if you had come across that sometimes as a reaction to healing prayer? I know (as in Elijah after Mt Carmel) that it’s a recognized physical reaction to spiritual activity. (My response to that is yes – it’s sometimes like God gives us an anesthetic in order to carry on working on us – and rest is an important part of allowing the healing to take effect).

Godfrey and I have known each other – we worked out – for almost 40 years, though it’s many years since we were in touch – there’s a wonderfully beneficial side of Facebook despite some of the criticism people level at it! – When I worked for Youth for Christ in East Sussex, a brilliant singing/poetic duo used to come quite regularly to work with us – Shattock and Rust (Geoff and Godfrey). They were great musicians, Godfrey a great poet….so it was a delight to hook up again! A lady called Glenna (I think) received a lot of healing, so much that she came back for more to get another ‘dousing’ from the Holy Spirit to completely heal her…. prayed for so many that evening, it was wonderful, too, that there were so many nations represented there, a few of which some of the people were delighted that I knew and had been to!

God spoke as I was moving over to England that there would be an increase not only in what I do in the year/years ahead, but also in seeing much more of his power in action. It goes with the ‘turf’ that when God moves there’s an enemy reaction, and I don’t think that in all the years I’ve been following God’s call I’ve known attack like it before and after trips, physically, emotionally, and practically. I’d really value your prayers that as the year rolls on, and more opportunities come in to go to other places to minister, for protection – especially physical and practical – when I got back from the Plymouth trip (I’d gone to Welshpool a few days earlier), the enemy ‘hit’ my body with such force I couldn’t get out of the car when I got back home. I sat in the car for a good 10 minutes and even wondered if I’d need to sleep there, as 30+ stairs up to the flat I’m renting seemed a physical impossibility for these suffering knees. In the end, I decided that I had to try, as my bed is more comfortable than the car seat, and it took me 20 minutes to get back up to the flat. I just fell on the bed unable to move. I’ve been ultra-conscious, too, of the assault of a particular spirit – some of you will be aware of the Jezebel spirit – wow, when that spirit attacks you certainly know you’re in a war!

Lots of other changes going on, but rather than extend this blog, I’ll write another one as it’ll be so long you’ll give up reading it, daunted by the length!

I try to take one day at a time. Looking ahead often makes me feel overwhelmed. I can’t look at tomorrow’s challenges with today’s grace. But I remind myself that all the grace I need for tomorrow will be given to me WHEN I GET THERE. Jesus put it like this,“”So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew‬ ‭6:34‬ ‭

Jesus just has a way with words doesn’t he?

‘No crown of glory without a cross of suffering’….

Posted on May 13, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Evangelism, Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Travel 1 Comment

I posted on Facebook recently that I was re-reading a book I first read soon after it’s publication – and about 4 more times since – ‘Lilies amongst Thorns’ (1991, Sovereign World). It’s been out of print tragically for some time now, but can still be bought ‘used’ on Amazon: it’s the story by Chinese Christians of their walk with God into revival – and the COST of that walk. When I first went to China, I had what was, for me before I did it the first time, the task of leading teams into China from Hong Kong taking Bibles to Pastors. First time I thought of going looking to buy adult nappies to wear, especially for the border crossing! It changed my life to meet Chinese Pastors, living in revival as a matter of daily life, living in miracles: it changed my life forever to hear their stories, and to meet and shake hands with the first two ex-dead people I’d ever met, two ladies – one who’d been dead 4 days and the other 7 days. Samuel Lamb, the pastor who introduced them to me, saw my face when he told me after I’d finished greeting them – absolute astonishment – and his first question to me then was ‘What’s your problem Paul? This happens every day in China!’ and holding his Bible right up to my face, said ‘It says it in here that we’ll do these things, and if it says it in here, it WILL happen’. I realised then what a comfortable gospel we’re taught in the west, as the revival in China – as you probably know – was and still is born out of the most unbelievable persecution. I thought I’d put what I wrote on Facebook in a blog in case you don’t ‘do’ Facebook. This is it:

A few days ago I posted here about a book, ‘Lilies amongst Thorns’, an ‘old’ book now (1991), but it’s a book about why there’s revival in China, not because God smiled, snapped his fingers and said ‘be revived’, but because Christians were, and still are to this day, willing to pay a massive price to see God move. I’m reading it for about the 5th time, and it still makes me weep at what a pathetic price I’ve paid to be in ministry and still expect to see God move. Ross Patterson, a great man of God, then Director of Chinese Church Support Ministries, says on the back: ‘the lessons of this book are strategic for those who would see revival. Our Chinese brothers and sisters in Christ understand that there is no crown of glory without a cross of suffering. The message is not an easy one but a vital one.

The book has the original story of ‘The heavenly man’ – Brother Yun – who as a prisoner of the Security Police, was tortured mercilessly for years, before he knew he had to fast. After 39 days without food AND water, God spoke to him as the devil taunted him incessantly that he could give up the next day as Jesus had only done 40 days and did Yun think he was greater than his Master? God’s word to him we from John 14:12 ‘that greater things he would do than Jesus did’ so he carried on. He’d begun on January 25 1984, and without food and water, carried on through to April 7 1984 – 74 days (humanly impossible for the body to survive and no one in history had ever gone that long). Hundreds in the prison were saved when they saw his sacrifice and torture ( electric rods, leather whips, big needles inserted under each of his finger nails regularly, prisoners urinating and defecating on him and much more… After 74 days he weighed less than 30kgs -66 pounds, 4 stone 7 pounds, his wife didn’t recognise him (he was the size of a 6 year old – a man in his 30s) – but revival came. I’ve lost 55kgs in 18 months – nearly what Yun weighed – and I’m still overweight.,. Would we pay that price and sing scripture 70 days into a fast to see Jesus move in power?

No crown of glory without a cross of suffering. Am I ready for that? Are you? How much do you love Jesus and want his Kingdom to come to earth? The Chinese Church pray that the ‘West’ will be blessed with the ‘precious gift of persecution’. Do we really want revival? If you want to be challenged to the very root of your being, read this book, it’ll cost as little as 1p (0.50 cents USA) on Amazon….

I had the privilege of meeting Yun and other pastors – including Wang Ming Dao, the Father and founder of the Chinese House Church movement (now about 150 million people strong) – who have been horrendously persecuted/incarcerated (Samuel Lamb years in a coal mine in Siberia in constant sub zero temperatures for about 20 years), George Chen and others, soon after their releases from captivity, and in 1987 when I met them, they’d say it was a privilege to be considered worthy to suffer for Jesus – and had hundreds of churches with millions of members as testimony to their sacrifice and their suffering…

Wang Mingdao was an independent Chinese Protestant pastor and evangelist imprisoned for his faith by the Chinese government from 1955 until 1980. He has been called the “Dean of the House Churches.”^[1]

Tragically, if you’ve ever heard ‘The Heavenly Man’, Yun, speak since he got to the west, he says that the worst persecution he’s ever faced is from Christian in the west – ‘friendly(?) fire’. Church, we have light years to go in the west if we want to see God move. I’ve been the victim of friendly fire many times in 40 years in ministry, even recently, and man, it’s painful. We HAVE to change.

‘It’s a privilege to be considered worthy (by God) to suffer for Jesus’…. No crown of glory without a cross of suffering, no revival without massive sacrifice… do we really want revival?

My ‘mental’ battle with healing, and praying for others

Posted on April 18, 2019 by Paul Bennison Posted in Journal, Personal, Random Thoughts, Testimony, Uncategorized 2 Comments

Sometimes, maybe even often, I go to preach in a church where I know I’ve been asked to preach because of what God graciously called me to do – empowered me to do – and gave me the faith to do it: and that is to pray for those who are sick – sometimes from a cold or a pain in the neck (I meet a few of those!!) to cancer to incurable to diseases, and occasionally, to pray for the dead to be resurrected. I – and hundreds of others – heard that call from God on my life in the 80s, and many many others have confirmed it since, I know that God gives me faith that I might not have thought I had when I hear some people’s needs (and that over these near four-decades) he has grown his faith in me and I find that I’m rarely, if ever ‘fazed’ by what I hear people asking me to pray for. I want to say – again – here and now that I can’t heal anyone – but I know that I have the faith that God – who gives us what we need only when we need it – WILL do what he promised to do in the Old and New Testaments, and I know that I CAN do what Jesus did, not because I’m good or special (I’m not) but because he called me to do it, and Jesus promised it.

That’s an immense blessing to me, that God would call a no-one (that’s actually always been who he’s chosen!) to have the privilege of seeing – and doing – all that I’ve seen and done…but there’s a ‘but’….!

For the last few years, since my ‘mobility’ issues have – as yet – stayed ‘unhealed’ by God (I and many, many others believe those issues will be healed – I sometimes think that people must wonder who on earth it is coming to preach and pray for healing for them, walking with a limp and a walking stick… I know, though, that since I’ve had osteoarthritis, that my understanding of pain has changed the way I pray for people – and I have to say that that awful disease that the enemy has stuck in my knees is excruciating! But I’m blessed that – because of understanding that pain – the vast percentage of people who have knee problems get healed! Because we are gifted at something by God, and I’ll use healing as the example, it doesn’t make us ‘immune’ from being ill, or suffering affliction. That’s why I’ve added below a post from Facebook from the amazing Rolland Baker, who with Heidi, sees miracles as a matter of course and daily life. And yet it wasn’t so long ago that Rolland himself nearly died: and Bill Johnson, the wonderful Bible Teacher from Redding, California, was also critically ill not so long ago. Those of us of a slightly more mature age will remember Jennifer Rees-Larcombe, who was suddenly struck down with what was initially thought to be encephalitis, and was wheelchair-bound for many, many years – but still had a ministry of healing and inner healing. And of course, the amazing Joni Eareckson-Tada. We’re not immune. It’s what we do with our suffering, and how we choose to live our lives, with it.

I’ve always refused to give in. Last year, you might remember I was unable to walk for 10 months due to something a consultant doctor did in a ‘standard’ check up to see how I was. I was subsequently told by two other doctors that I’d never walk again. I still made it to preach in other churches, often with physical help to get to the front(!!), and also made it to Colombia, albeit all the way in a wheelchair, and in the wheelchair for everything I did while I was there. I’m not saying this for any other reason than that I know the enemy wants to ‘disable’ us in whatever way he can: we just don’t have to LET him. So sometimes I feel a bit of a ‘fraud’ telling people I want to pray for their healing when I hobble towards them: but God graciously honours his unchangeable promise from 35-40 years ago that he WOULD heal the sick, and – thank God! – he does.

And I CHOSE not to believe that prognosis that I wouldn’t walk again. I can walk, thanks to a man of faith and obedience who didn’t know me, coming a long to way to pray for me, when I was still living in Northern Ireland. He brought with him what I think – originally – was a prophetic word from a highly respected prophet in Northern Ireland for him, that turned out to be for me! That word included this sentence: ‘There are obstacles wherever Paul turns’ – and I’d have to say that over the past 40 years, that’s been true – and is still true, even today. It was an incredibly accurate prophetic word from someone who didn’t know me: we didn’t meet until some weeks later, when we were both involved in a men’s conference in Dublin.

We are NOT immune from sickness, suffering, death, or obstacles. But God is STILL God – and I believe honours our choices in how we handle the things the enemy throws at us to ‘disable’ us.

If you think we’re exempt from suffering once we know Jesus, read on…

Rolland Baker

From a friend:

When I was at Harvest School in 2011, Heidi shared about drinking from the cup of joy and suffering. For those who love Jesus, the two are inseparable. We have to have the joy that is Jesus or else what are we left with? His joy is EVERYTHING. We cannot live without it. However, Jesus calls us to drink deeply from the cup of joy AND suffering. Why suffer we in the West might cry? Jesus suffered so that we don’t have to! Really? I continue to read Lilies Amongst Thorns, the story of persecuted Christians in China. Tonight I read; ‘The brothers and sisters who were with Gui all began to cry out loud. Then another brother came and told Gui, ‘Two of the brothers after prayer have already wakened, but we are afraid there is no hope for the younger brother.’ Gui immediately called them to prepare a hand cart to bring that brother to him. Sobbing, they pulled that brother home. Gui immediately came out, lifted the blanket and looked at him. His face was beyond recognition. His head had swollen like a gourd and he had already stopped breathing. With the others Gui knelt down in the presence of the Lord and wept, ‘Lord, how can we bear this heavy burden? Have mercy on us and cause this brother to rise from the dead.’ After prayer that brother suddenly took a gasp of air. Gui immediately gave thanks to the Lord. The brother began to open his eyes and slowly sat up. Everyone wept as they praised the Lord with a loud voice. The brother opened his mouth to speak, ‘When I was by the riverside and was beaten, I saw a man whose beard and hair was white and who was clothed in white raiment right down to His feet. His face was like that of the sun and light shone from His whole body. He held in His hand a book and with a pen quickly recorded what was happening. Then He said, “Young son, today I have recorded all that you have suffered”.’ Upon hearing that all the people sang, danced and praised the Lord… I still have so much to learn. Jesus you are worthy!!!

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