Category Archives: Travel

Men fall in love for many reasons, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that! And women too, of course!!

Something I really struggle with is when I talk to some people about certain countries, and the traumas, problems, tragedies and so on, many of which breed corruption, that those countries have – and still do – experience, that they seem to know more about the country, having never been there, than someone who’s been there many times. I’ve recently experienced a terrible tragedy in a country that was so tragic when I first went there, so corrupt, it was unreal that Romania was actually in EUROPE – not a poverty-stricken continent the other side of the world. And this isn’t ‘Scrooge’ era: it’s less than 30 years ago, in the adult lifetime of many of us. The tragedy I’ve experienced recently is STILL all to do with poverty – poverty caused by corruption. I won’t mention any names, but I got to know a family many years back in the north of Romania (the area is a country/state – Moldova) – their daughter, 25 years old, I knew all her life, and tragically, due to poverty (I was unable to help, which I had done as and I when I could) she was evicted in from her flat in November. Her only alternative was to sleep rough (both parents had died) – shop doorways in late December/early January in Romania are freezing places (-15C in January, as low as -25C at times in February). From 1993, when she was born, she was like a ‘surrogate’ daughter, who, without help because of her medical conditions, couldn’t work, let alone complete her University studies. Like so many countries I’ve been to/go to, you can only get medical help if you pay ‘up front’. If you can’t pay, you suffer – or die. I last heard from her in January – in hospital suffering from frostbite: and then what I dreaded to hear – silence. About 3 weeks ago, I heard from two sources she had died with hypothermia. Like with the (different sort of) loss of my own children, I am heartbroken. She’ll have had no funeral: doubtless picked up by the police or garbage men and thrown onto a waste tip. Why? Because corruption and life sentenced her to it. She gave her life to Jesus over weeks – months – of What’sApp conversations with me: I’m praying that, if she’s dead (and I actually have no way of knowing definitely, or finding out – she was a ‘street’ person- she died still knowing him and believing him, and trusting in him, despite the desperate, freezing straits she found herself in.

She wasn’t an unusual case: street sleeping is endemic in Romania, of course a country a full member of the EU since 2011 (and part member since 2007) receiving massive grants from the EU, much of it going straight into businessmen’s and politicians pockets. People told me it couldn’t happen – it DIDN’T happen in Romania, it was ok now it was in the EU. People who I asked, ‘How many times have you been there in the past few years?’ – none: ‘how many times did you go after the revolution?’ – none: ‘how many times before the revolution?’ – none. Yet they know all about Romania, this isn’t a boast, just a fact, but I’ve been there 129 times, know it pretty well. Today, I had a delivery driver from Amazon call. I recognised his accent – but rather than just ‘assuming’ he was Romanian, asked him where he was from. ‘Romania’, he replied, ‘about 90% of Amazon’s drivers are from Romania’ he told me. No money there. Poverty. Corruption. He came from Cluj, too – one of the loveliest cities in the country: I’ve been there many times – University city, and a massive student population. I told him I loved his country, but quite understood why he had to leave, and was he delighted we had a ‘connection’ – Cluj, and his son’s name is Paul.

It was over Christmas – in fact from 16th December into the new year – 1989/90, that Romania suffered its terrible revolution. Thousands perished – but small fry compared to the number who’ve died from poverty despite being in the wonderful EU – it seems to me to have no ‘follow up’ on where their grants go :(. I spent Christmas in tears in 1989, and wept when cameras went in for the first time from ‘outside’ and into the orphanages. Romania before the revolution had ‘scared’ me, I’ll be honest – the Securitate, the most brutal and vicious of all the Eastern European police forces, followed you everywhere with their long black coats, their black hats, and cameras with long zoom lenses. But as I watched on TV Christmas 1989,I knew I had to go back: God got a hold of my spirit and my emotions as I wept, and within about 4 weeks, was there with a 38 ton, 17 ton, 13 ton, and 3 7.5 ton trucks (you could – maybe still can – drive one of those on a car licence, and I had to drive and take whatever we could collect. The trucks were rammed with goods – about 90 tons in the 6 trucks.

Within a day or two, I knew I had to go to an orphanage, yet everything in me screamed not to, as I dreaded what I was going to see. Room after room, cots end to end, side to side, filling every centimetre of the rooms, ‘normal’ size cots but with 4 children in each, sitting in excrement and urine. Concrete ‘pens’ where the most disabled were kept, 24/7, naked, covered in excrement and urine, naked, in – that day – temperatures of -30C, and they were hosed down once every now and again with ice cold water.

I fell in love. I think I did in front of the TV if I’m honest, but seeing these children – and there are still instituions like them there today – and thousands of kids living in the under-street heating and sewage ducts. What made me fall in love with this country? Well, I’ve realised in the past 40 years that some people hate countries, others love them: but even when you love them, you can hate them, too, for what they do to people, especially children. I fell in love because the first boy I saw was this one –

no legs, no hands, immovable arms, a missing eye, and blind in the other eye. I asked through a translator, of one the ‘workers’, what his name was, how old – no name, no idea how old: I asked what had happened to him to make him the way he was. ‘His mother tried to abort him with a knitting needle, severed his legs, wrecked his arms and hands, and removed an eye….. ‘how often do you pick them up and hug them?’ I asked. ‘What? Why? Never,’ came the reply. So I did, hugged him – and he laughed. I exploded with tears I didn’t know I could produce – and I fell in love with a country that to many is so corrupt they won’t go there, to others – who’ve never been but ‘know it well’ and a country still despised by many. I was covered in s**t and urine but I didn’t care – he needed loving. As do many in that sad, sad country. I took my whole family there many times over those early years – and my kids – who I adore even though I haven’t seen them in a very long time – loved playing with the Romanian kids. It really blessed me to see it. 128 visits later, and I still love the country, but hate it because it can kill a lovely 25 year old girl, amongst thousands over the years.

Don’t believe the cots were end to end, side to side?

Why do men fall in love? How? With the girl of your dreams, it’s easy. With a nation – and images like these – it’s not love you can generate, but love that, I believe, only God can give if we’re willing to receive it. 29 years on, I’m sitting here in tears, at 2 am, crying my eyes out over a country I love dearly, and over a young woman who I loved like a daughter who it seems is now dead. Can we do anything? Yes, we can. We can ask God for his love, compassion, freedom from the fear of ‘catching diseases’ (many people won’t go to some countries I’ve asked them to go to with me in case they catch something). ‘If any man wants to save his life, he’ll lose it: but whoever is willing to lose his life for my sake, he will find it’. Jesus said it – 5 times in 4 gospels.

Do we just ignore these things as though they never happened Worse still, that they still ARE happening? For God’s sake, for Jesus’s sake – NO! For the sake of the Kingdom? NO! This isn’t some far-flung country (though it does seem to have similar despotic leaders – though the President, which is really a ‘name-only’ title, is, I undertand a Lutheran Christian (Klaus Iohannis). It’s the Prime Minister who really runs the country, and the previous incumbents have been not the most honest (choosing words carefully!).

There are some great churches in Romania – even better perhaps under the persecution of the evil President Ceaucescu, as churches thrive under persecution (maybe we do as Christians, too) – and need our help, they need encouragement, love, grace, finance, and so much more. I remember saying to a group of five pastors in Guanzhou, China – what will it take for the church in the west to see happen what God is doing in revival power here in China? Their answer was unanimous, having just answered another of my questions with ‘We never have a prayer not answered’ – ‘they said, ‘We pray every day for the precious gift of persecution for the western churches’….

Is God asking you to go and love Romania? Or somewhere else humanly unlovely to us with a western mindset?

   I do want to add that this has nothing at all to do with me falling in love other than with the poor, desperate, people unable to help themselves, in nations that make even the poorest here look rich – if only because of the National Health Service….

No, nobody’s grown an extra leg, or anything quite so exciting as being raised from the dead, but- BUT – for much of my life I’ve battled with something obvious to everyone who knows me,,, WEIGHT! Over the years I’ve tried every sort of diet imaginable – from, in the 80’s, the ‘F’ plan (Fibre Diet) – in 6 weeks I put ON a pound (0.5 kg) 🙁 : Then I tried the Cambridge Diet, that awful ‘drinks only’ thing, where I lost 56 pounds (25 kg) in 4 months, As soon as I stopped the diet, I put on 70 pounds (31 kg) back on in ultra-quick time, not because I ate a lot, I just ate…. even when I’ve fasted – and I’ve done a few, some 40 day fasts: a friend and I used to fast together (fasting IS Biblical so it’s not aimed at losing weight) but my friend would lose 15 kg, and I’d put on a couple….

Then, as regular blog readers know, last year was an unusual year for me in that I couldn’t walk really for 10 months, often not even to the kitchen room my living room. I honestly thought that no activity and sitting down extensively (like 90% of the day apart from the odd foray out to preach if I had help, or to the doctors or the pharmacy – living the high life, huh??!!) I’d put on masses of weight. But as I couldn’t get to the kitchen much, I didn’t eat – unless my lovely ex-next door neighbours, John & Lisa, in Bangor, Northern Ireland, cooked Sunday lunch for me (which they did most Sundays). My stomach must have shrunk drastically, as I can’t eat much now even though I can walk again….

….and here’s the big confession (might not surprise some of you!) I was in 44-inch waist (112 cms) trousers…. when I moved into my new flat, when my scales appeared from under Vesuvius (my second bedroom eruption) I thought they were wrong, so courtesy of Amazon I bought some new ones…. and realised I needed 42….then 40….then 38….. and now 36 inch (91 cm) waist trousers. And I’ve lost 6 stones in weight (38 kilos)! I can’t remember a time when I was on 36/91 waist trousers! And today in shifting the mountain, I found my suit (yes, I DO have a suit – 2 in fact, and a blazer I haven’t been able to wear for years!) – and they’re sort of too big for me, but I can get away with it!! But I’m heading for 34 inch trousers…. (86 cms), and no longer 3 or 4 XL shirts – just 2XL or even XL depending on where I buy them and what brand they are!

So thank you, God!! That’s a great help to my knees in the long term….and God IS in the process of healing them, as I can walk where I couldn’t last year. So if you want to follow my ‘diet’, go and see an orthopaedic consultant and get him to wreck at least one leg so you can’t walk, and after 10 months get someone to pray for you….!!!!

Don’t forget next Sunday evening – Bolney Village Chapel, 6.30 pm…. Top Street, Bolney, West Sussex RH17 5PP – https://www.bolneyvillagechapel.co.uk/ – pastored by my really great friend Simon Allaby. I’ll be there, so will Simon, so will some friends from my church in Gravesend, and more importantly, so will God and the Holy Spirit! This is Simon…

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Top+St,+Bolney,+Haywards+Heath/@50.9972509,-0.2028438,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x487592bbee79cf91:0x9aa52c1f8e8e7d53!8m2!3d50.9972475!4d-0.2006551

and this is the church!

Forty years on from the beginning of this life, I don’t think I’ll ever tire or cease to be amazed at just how much God loves us, and how much it is his desire to bless us with healing. I’d love to be able to answer the question ‘Why doesn’t he heal everyone?’ and even add ‘Immediately’ to the end of that question, but I can’t (as has been my own personal experience), and I don’t think I know anyone who can answer it categorically. There are all sorts of reasons why…. but he seems to be doing it more and more in this country (United Kingdom!) and it’s SUCH a privilege to be on the end of God’s ‘extension lead’ when he chooses to move in healing, miracles, and power, through his grace, mercy, and promises.

I arrived at this year wondering if, following 10 months pretty much out of circulation, I’d have been forgotten by people who used to invite me to their meetings, churches, countries…. I’m grateful to have a number of invitations in the diary, and look forward to more, not because I have a need to preach, but because I love people and want to pray for them to see them released from sickness and disease. So it’s been a joy to get back in harness and see God do just that. Last weekend I had the privilege of being in Hunstanton, Norfolk, with long-time friends Dennis and Cathy Acott, who themselves have a wonderful healing and impartation ministry (www.eagles4031.org.uk) at their lovely church, The Way. It was a privilege to have the opportunity to go there (thank you Chris, Gordon, and Jill!) and, with a couple of friends from Eastgate, my new home church, see God touch some people very powerfully, with deaf ears opening, osteoarthritis healed, sacro-ileac back issues begin to begin to be healed, muscular shoulder pain go, and lots more besides. I am still in awe after all these years that God spoke so many years ago about me seeing the sick healed all over the world, and he’s doing it in the good old UK, too! I love being back in action after last year, but very conscious, after prophetic words about an increase in what God’s going to do this year, that the enemy would ‘assault’ – and for 36 hours, I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. But I want to say that I wouldn’t swap what I do for all the tea in whatever countries a lot of tea comes from! It’s probably politically incorrect to use the old phrase with the country beginning with C in it!!

I’m learning (it’s taken a long time!) to try and manage my body better, especially the knees/legs: for me, the temptation is to do more when they feel a little easier (they’re not at the moment ever pain-free, but sometimes it’s less than others), so I had an early night as they always improve with being horizontal, and have resisted the urge today to continue to get the flat/apartment in better order. It frustrates me that it’s taking so long, but the knees have slowed me down, I know without doubt that moving is high on the ‘stress’ scale, and that lifting/carrying/moving things involves knees in ways I never realised until mine hurt a lot!

My own testimony, as many of you know, is that for 10 months last year, I mostly couldn’t walk, even from my living to the kitchen, which really wasn’t far at all. Occasionally, with help, I could stagger out to have a coffee, but pay for it later with a lot of pain and even less mobility, until a lovely man, Robert Miller, who didn’t know me, came a long distance to pray for me one afternoon, and the next morning I could walk – not without pain, but my legs moved and carried me. I never ‘voiced’ or wrote this last year, but I was ‘warned’ by medics that, due to the damage done to my right knee by a consultant, I might not walk again without major reconstruction of my leg. I never mentioned it because I wasn’t going to give the enemy the ‘privilege’ of voicing what could have become a major fear for me if I’d ‘come into agreement’ with it, and chose to believe that I would – and I can! Sometimes, now, without a walking stick, though as my knees have changed the shape of my legs, they’ve also flattened my feet, so the stick is good for balance. I never realised the value of arches until the past few years!

So invitations are coming in: I’d love to come to your church – or country if God gives the green light – and be involved in seeing the Kingdom of God come in power and heal people, save people, and set people free from whatever ‘prison’ they are trapped in. Email me – paul@paulbennison.com – or phone me (a private message or email will have the phone number winging its way to you). I long to see God’s Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven, having prayed that prayer for more than half a century!

I’d value your prayers for accelerated healing, and also that God will increase the support I receive – having lived in England for a few months again after 12 years or more away, it really is much more expensive than I ever imagined, even being aware that it would be more expensive than Northern Ireland, As you know, God told me 40 years ago I was never to charge for ministry engagements – ‘freely you have received, freely give’ seems to me to be immovable – and offerings are greatly appreciated when I do preach, as is the regular support of people who follow and appreciate what I do. If you can be one of those (if you’re not already) then let me know, and I’ll tell you how!

Just back from a really lovely fun-filled yet powerful service at City Church, Worcester – I’ve been a number of times in the past to preach here, but today was just a ‘punter’. I felt welcomed like an old friend and was almost immediately greeted by a lady who told me that when I last preached at the church, I prayed for her and she was healed – she was in a rush somewhere so didn’t get the chance to ask what! Afterwards, I was asked to pray with a lovely lady in extreme pain – from a badly failed knee-replacement surgery (another reason not to have had it done!) last year, in considerably more pain than before the prosthetic was fitted. I’m not sure I’ve prayed for the ‘healing’ of a prosthetic – but all her pain and inflammation went, and she could stand without pain for the first time since the surgery.

A lovely young lady I’d prayed with previously told me she’d been healed of anorexia and raynaud’s syndrome: today  she asked for prayer as she’d got a problem with one leg being shorter than the other – sometimes a back or hip issue, but not always – and her orthotics specialist was in church this morning, too. Five minutes before being prayed for, the orthotic specialist had measured her hips, and they were about an inch out, as was the alignment of her knees….we watched as they equalised, and her mum confirmed that her walking up stairs had changed. The specialist confirmed that her hips and knees were now in line….. God’s so amazing, isn’t he?

Prayed for a great young man who was born with three teeth missing: the orthodontists won’t do implants unless there were six missing, only do a ‘bridge’ – not as expensive as implants but still, in the UK, as with all dentistry, expensive, so I prayed for three new teeth to be supernaturally created. They weren’t – instantly – but watch this space!

I can’t tell you the privilege it is to pray for people and see them healed – or the process of healing begin. I’m so grateful to God that in a year of immobility and extreme pain, he still chooses to use this East End of London ‘plonker’ even when I’m not expecting it. And if he can heal a ‘failed’ prosthetic, he can heal – and is healing -my knees. Not HEALED – YET – but in the process….praying that before I move into my new home, assuming I can get the money together! – he’ll heal mine totally as my flat is on the second floor and there’s no lift/elevator! That would be the best Christmas gift I could have,,,,

I’ve realised a lot of things this year, having to spend a good deal of it immobile, not the least being what an amazing creation our bodies are, made even more amazing when parts of it stop working as my legs did. When we read in Psalm 139 that we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ it has significantly more impact when a critical part, like your legs, stop moving. I’ve been so grateful to God for Robert Miller, who travelled some distance to pray for the knees of a man he didn’t know, and the next day they started working again! When I pray for people, I’ll often ask if they’ve noticed any change in their condition. Some are instantly healed, some know something’s happened but still have pain, or symptoms (I’ll always say ‘don’t say you’re healed if you’re not’ as I’ll pray again: by the same measure, as it’s not possible for God to answer prayer, as I was vehemently reminded many times in China in the ’80s by Chinese pastors, don’t say ‘it didn’t work’ because sometimes the change might be imperceptible, but there WILL be change. I am in the process of a miracle, much as I’d have loved it to be instant, I’m so, so grateful for the MEASURE of healing I’ve received so far.

I learned to listen to God more, too, which was such a blessing, read more (Bible and books), and pray more. Now, it’s great to be able to start again to put all of this into practice, though I did preach in Ireland, made a Colombia trip in a wheelchair (which took some getting used to!), and once mobile, had the privilege of speaking at a men’s conference in Dublin. Doors are opening for next year, and God has said through various prophetic words that there’s going to be an increase in impact and gifting in 2019 – now I can move again, I want to take every opportunity I can, with this wonderful created ability called ‘walking’. I’ feeling very blessed as I have a number of invitations and potential invitations for 2019 when I honestly thought that having a year where I was able to accept few invitations people would have forgotten me. If I used to come to your church until 2018, I’d love to come back, if you want me! And I have a few opportunities to go back and preach in Ireland, which is a blessing.

When you travel a lot, it’s essential to have people around you who understand – or at least try to understand – the itinerant’s needs, lifestyle, and the support that’s necessary. I’ve never been or wanted to be, a ‘lone ranger’, which is one of the reasons I love taking teams with me. So to now be going to a church that sends teams out a lot, as well as other missionaries, is a tremendous blessing. If Eastgate Church ever wanted me to be involved in that, it will be a blessing. I’ve also got together what would best be called a team of advisors (accountability group?) – I’m over the moon with the great guys who have agreed to be part it, all of them leaders or in ministry, spread across all styles of church, a wide age range, and all wonderfully in touch with God. They’ve given great advice already, and, what’s really lovely, believe in me and the vision God’s given me. Our ‘meetings’ will be by Skype (especially as one lives in the USA and is a dear friend who is never afraid to tell me if and when I’m wrong!).

Having hit 66 years old 4 days ago, and on the ‘slope’ towards 70, I’m praying that God will continue to bless and provide, as I have to trust him through my ”pension years’ as well through the last 40! I’m told that I can buy seven years of National Insurance stamps (I’ve bought one through the kindness and generosity of a group of friends in France, so six to go) for the (many!) years where I didn’t have enough to pay the stamp: and there’s no other pension hiding in the background that I can rely on.

The last couple of weeks I’ve had the delight of staying with great, long-time friend Graham Coyle, in Worcester. We first met 35 years ago, Graham and his lovely late-wife Ann’s lives intertwined with mine first at Roffey Place in 1984, and much more regularly since. Graham and his two lovely daughters, Bex and Lizzie, have very kindly asked me for Christmas, the first Christmas I’ll have not spent alone for quite a few years. So until 7th January, I’m at 15 Lilac Avenue, Worcester WR4 9QU, I hope I can remember how ‘do’ Christmas!

And, God willing, I move into a flat in Northfleet, Kent, the second week of January. It’s a mighty leap of faith for me, as I – and many others to whom I look to for advice and input, felt that the lovely Eastgate Church, in Gravesend, was where God wanted me to go. Gravesend’s proximity to London, and to Ebbsfleet International Channel Tunnel Train Station, makes that area of Kent lethally expensive rent-wise, especially compared to Northern Ireland! My rent will be 120% higher than Ireland, the council tax 300% higher than Ireland’s rates, and inNorthern Ireland, you don’t pay water rates (so much rain, I guess!!) so that’ll be on the expenses list in Kent. Living anywhere in the south-east of England is expensive – I understand that a two bedroomed flat in somehwere like Eastbourne (where I spent many of my growing up years) is about £1000 a month, so north-west Kent, with it’s ‘immediate’ accessibility to numerous motorways, four airports (five if you include Southend) with the furthest – Heathrow – only being 75 minutes away (the others being Gatwick, Stansted, and Luton): and Europe, through the tunnel or ferry, makes it ideal for an itinerant missionary.

For people who live the way God’s called me to, we face something of a dilemma, where support raising is concerned. For me, I don’t find it too difficult to write, or ask, when fund-raising for projects, like the fantastic building Thanney constructed last year for the desperate, threatened, and vulnerable street kids in Cali. However, when it comes to support raising for me, I find it almost impossible. Most people say ‘If we don’t knw what you need, how do we know how to help you?’, which makes it so much easier to ask  Perhaps I’m overly conscious of the few who, when I write stating those needs, tell me ‘So you’re not living by faith anymore, you’re begging’. I have to try and dismiss those as most people in ministry fundraise: and, as many of you know, I ‘suffered’ this year because of immobility and couldn’t walk, so therefore preach, and about 40% of my income comes from offerings even though I don’t charge. When you watch Christian TV, the ‘money’ appeals are endless, yet seem more acceptable to the ‘few’! So, I’m still some way short of what I need to rent – and buy things for – the flat, things that I had to leave behind in Bangor that either didn’t fit on the trailer or belonged to the landlord. Fairly important things like a fridge-freezer, two beds, a washing machine….. IF you’re in a position to help with support, and to make up the loss from offerings this year, I’d be very grateful. www.Stewardship.org.uk is brilliant, in that they reclaim the tax and pass it on to me as well (Paul Bennison Healing Ministries Worldwide, account no: 20028331), the Halifax Bank (if you don’t pay tax) 11-08-75, 00256003: or PayPal (paul@paulbennisoncom).

I’m looking forward to celebrating this wonderful creation’s legs when I move, as I’m in a second floor flat without a lift (!) so I’m asking for God’s support, too, in healing them totally before I move in January. The wonderful ‘upside’ is that it’s only 500 yards from the church. What marvellous inventions knee were by God.

I pray that you’ll have a wonderful Christmas, filled with peace and the amazing Presence of Jesus. I look forward to seeing some of you in 2019, maybe at your church if you want me!