For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of POWER.

Paul Bennison

Weekend in the West – no Credit(on) to me, and Plymouth!

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A very worthwhile and enjoyable long(ish)-haul drive last weekend down to Devon, to speak at the Mid-Devon Christian Vision for Men (CVM) curry evening – my long-time friend Kevin Ball asked me to the lovely named Copplestone Methodist Church, Crediton, and it was a good evening. A good number there, Kev was a marvel in that he cooked an awesome amount of three different curries – hot, not so hot, and vegetarian (a curry without meat isn’t really a curry for me!!). Good curry, too – went for the hottest one, thoroughly enjoyable beef! Some good chats with a number of guys before the event, including a ‘blood-brother’ from Stratford, a fellow Cockney in the heart of Exmoor!!

CVM is a great ministry to men – the last few years it has expanded hugely, and for their ‘main’ event nationally – a weekend ‘in a field near Swindon’ (not hugely appealing to a dodgy-kneed non-camper like me, though!) they have in excess of 2,500 men, with many saved, and lives transformed.

Kev very honouring of our friendship, and of me, in his introduction. Not knowing most of the guys there, I thought I would hold back on some of the more ‘extreme’ testimonies I’ve seen God do, but still told a good number of the amazing things God is doing these days. I wanted to challenge the guys with ‘Wouldn’t it be awful to get to the end of your life and discover that you’d wasted it?’ – and it was more because of that theme that I prayed with a good few men – one lovely guy said to me: ‘I’ve realised that I’ve wasted my life up until now, and don’t want to waste the rest of it’ – I know a few felt that way. The joy is that once you reach that point, then you can decide not to waste the rest of what God has given you….

Just a couple of the comments from men there were a blessing –

  • A great curry evening, Paul, an ordinary guy used by God to do extraordinary things. We ALL have a purpose!
  • Andy Laidlaw Great night mate, thanks Paul for a splendid talk

One guy I spoke to was amazed at where God has taken me over the last forty years, the number of countries, and said ‘man, you must be loaded with money!’ – so I gently told him that wasn’t the case, that it’s 41 years on January 18, 2020, since my last ever salary cheque (and it was only half a month’s pay anyway, as I left at the end of December to go into Christian work!). That God has provided through his people, and supernaturally, blew him away even more!

Back at Kevin and Della’s home in Okehampton just in time to watch Brighton & Hove Albion thrash Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 on Match of the Day – capped off a great evening!

Down to Plymouth in time for the meeting at City Church – a super church that I’ve had the joy of visiting to speak at since January 1983 (my goodness me, tempus fugit and all that – 38 years and they still let me in! I picked up the same them as Saturday evening to start with, but as I so often find, digressed (moved off at a tangent??!) talked more about some of the more ‘outrageous’ things God is doing. It was great because my wonderful friend Julian had a word of knowledge early on that resulted in healing, and as I walked into the meeting, another long-time friend told me that her back, which had given her a lot of trouble, was completely healed last time I was at the church. Always nice to get those sorts of ‘occurrences’ BEFORE you speak!

The friendship with City Church has a rather lovely history too – I met a bunch of folk from there as they were prayer-walking and doing evangelism in the ‘suffering for the Kingdom’ location of St. Tropez! – I was speaking at a Christian holiday campsite, which I had to ‘suffer’ for many years (a great improvement on a ‘field near Swindon’ I’d have to say!

Kev praying for me after eating his curry, and before I spoke… I wasn’t asleep on his shoulder!

Prayed with a few folk at the end of the meeting – some felt the touch of God but no ‘dramatic’ instant healings – though I’m still in faith for Julian’s healing and will never give up praying for him. It was such a blessing that the whole church prayed for me, too – for my home here in Wales, for the restoration of my family, and for my knees to be healed. Colin, one of the leaders of the church, made a wonderful declaration about the family. It was so good, too, to be able to have a great lunch and a few hours, with Roy and Angie: the dear friends who flew to Ireland last year to help me when walking was impossible – so they cleaned the house and filled the freezer as Angie made constant meals for me over 5 days to keep me going for weeks and weeks!

And then to spend the evening with Julian and Olwyn, we haven’t really seen each other to natter to for a long, long time. Jules has M.S. – if you feel led, please remember him and Olwyn in your prayers. It was great that their daughters were there, Megan staying overnight so we caught up a few years of life too!

The journey back up the M5 was a bit of a pain as it rained most of the way, but I’m grateful for the car I have, even though it’s 11 years old now!

I was scheduled to go to Colombia with my dear friend Thanney, two weeks today, but because I’m hoping to start yet another ‘moving’ process any day now, I’ve postponed my involvement to be in Wales for when it might be possible to get into my own place. That means Thanney’s going alone, to start the process of the next BIG building project in Cali – seeing architects, planners, community leaders of the barrio we’ll be working in, and the city authorities. I’m very envious of him being there for 4 weeks, but then I’m looking forward to being totally settled here. I’m so grateful to Rob and Lucy for having me in their home while the home-hunting process happens – they’ve put up with me for 9weeks now! They’re a real blessing to me.

If any of you have had cause or need to ring me in the 13 weeks I’ve been in Wales, I’m sorry if you’ve not been able to! Phone signals in Welshpool are fine, but I’ve been in two villages a few miles out of the town, and had no phone signal from two of the major providers, O2 and EE, for all of those weeks! If you need to get in touch, emails work fine, Facebook Messenger, and WhatsApp are keeping me alive to the outside world!! I can pick up text and voice messages on the phone when I go into Welshpool…

 

I think the curry went up my nose….
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DANCE WITH MY FATHER AGAIN

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One of the joys of being a Christian is knowing that I’m securely held in the loving arms of my heavenly Father – locked in his arms, in fact. His embrace is total love and acceptance, things we all need if we’re to ‘survive’ life without bitterness and rejection. There are many promises in Scripture about how much love Father God, and his wonderful Son, Jesus, have for us: and for me the loveliest worship songs are about his love – especially ‘How deep the Father’s love for us’ by the lovely Stuart Townend:

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

For those of us who no longer have the privilege of having our earthly dads with us – in my case it most certainly WAS a privilege to have the dad I had – knowing Father God’s love is so incredibly special. I know I wouldn’t have survived through life without His love. In a few days time, 54 years ago, my dad went to be with his heavenly Father: Thursday, 30 September 1965, at 5.09 pm, aged only 41 years, as a result of a terrible diagnosis from his doctor and subsequent treatment for pneumonia and not a massive pulmonary embolism. I’ll be truthful and say it took me many years to forgive that doctor, it held me back from becoming a ‘full-fledged’ Christian: I was 12 years old when dad went, and while all the wonderful things that were said about him at his funeral (he was an Elder, Treasurer, and Sunday School Secretary at our – then – church) were nice to hear, they meant nothing as my dad had gone. The pastor of the church used the words spoken of Stephen, as he was martyred in the book of Acts – ‘He was a man filled with the Holy Spirit and Faith’. It was six long years before God finally cornered me, and I submitted my life totally to Him, and was wonderfully blessed to be filled with His Holy Spirit.

My dad was an amazing man: a much better man in his 41 years than I’ll ever be. I was born very, very sick, and doctors said that living in the environment and air of the east-end of London wasn’t helping. So when I was nearly 6, dad gave up an amazing job as Borough Treasurer of one of the east-end boroughs, and we moved to Sussex, where he took on running a grocer’s shop, which was menial and physically demanding by comparison. Never once in my hearing did he ever complain, but the heavy physical work took its toll, and 6 years later, this amazing – but shy and humble – man of God, gave up his life – effectively for me. I’d just got home from school, and heard what I had no idea were his last breaths from the bottom of the stairs (a family friend stopped me from going up to see him, which I dearly wanted to) – but even in those last moments when he struggled to breathe with the pulmonary embolism sucking the air out of him, dad’s last words were  ‘Lord, if I’m dying, forgive me’.  No fear of death, just an acknowledgment that as a man, he needed God’s forgiveness. Those words more than the breaths mean the world to me. Though I didn’t know it, God held me so close those turbulent next years as emotionally and psychologically I struggled to recover from losing him.

I empathise with all fatherless friends, for whatever reason. My prayer is that you, too, know the loving locked embrace of your heavenly Father.

But he’d laid a wonderful loving foundation in my life – representative of God’s love for him – and I’d dearly love to thank him for that. In 1983, soul singer Luther Vandross, released a wonderful song – ‘Dance with my father again’ – which encapsulates so much for me the love my dad had for me – which even though it was wonderful, doesn’t even come close to the love Father God has for me.

Father – thank you for loving me. Jesus – thank you for loving me. Dad – thank you for loving me. I’d love to sit and talk to you every day, but one day, in heaven, that will be possible….

Dad and a very short body-less son at Harlyn Bay, Cornwall May 1965                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Friston Forest, East Dean, East Sussex June 1965

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FOR THOSE HANGING ON ‘A’ LEVEL RESULTS, THIS IS TO ENCOURAGE YOU!

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48 years ago I was waiting for mine, not really with any high hopes as I thought I’d blown them. I’d never really ‘caught up’ at Grammar School, going there a year late as, though I passed my 11+ exam (there’s a memory many of us would like to forget!), I ‘failed’ it on the conduct report from my junior school headteacher, because she caned me 4 times a day for 4 years for being left-handed.
 
So a year at a very crap secondary school (I won’t say which one!) preceded my parents’ fight to get me into Lewes Grammar School, then one of the best Grammar Schools in the country.
 
They won: but the difference in quality was like going from top year junior school straight into 5th-year senior school. 3 weeks into my Grammar School ‘life’ my dad died, which, at 12 years old for me and 41 years old for him, was life-changing and emotionally impossible for me. I never caught up at Grammar, it was a massive struggle after secondary school and dad’s death. But I survived, scraping through my ‘O’ levels (GCSEs) with enough to get me into 6th form. I really thought I’d blown my ‘A’ levels, but I left school with 3, much to my (and my teachers’ surprise!).
 
Mum was wonderful, but as a widow, herself injured and unwell, she couldn’t work, so she couldn’t afford to help me through University (no student loans in those days) as parental contribution to Uni was significant back then. So I went out to work – in a bank (having failed Maths ‘O’ level you might be encouraged to know!!! – I did get it at the 5th attempt 3 years into my banking career). After 5 years in the bank, God started working on me to leave and go into ministry: I didn’t want to (reasonable salary, good pension, great career prospects, subsidised mortgage) so for 4 years I argued with God (an ‘interesting’ pointless exercise, I discovered!) before quitting at the end of 1978. I don’t know where my banking career would have taken me – big salary, big pension, paid-off mortgage by 55 years old, retirement – and a life of utter boredom!
 
What I DO know is that the plans God had for me FAR exceeded the constraints of a banking career (even if with no money!), and has taken me on a missionary journey around the world a few times, to 111 countries, privileged and humbled to have seen tens of thousands healed, countless astonishing miracles, salvation in great numbers, the dead raised, limbs grow from nothing, countless others released into the purposes of God for THEIR lives, and no plans to retire (even though I’m past 65 years old now and limping!). Would I have wanted to go to University? Yeah, maybe, but I couldn’t – and I’d genuinely say that. despite 5 wasted years of my life in the bank, I have NO regrets! I could have held on to my career, of course I could, and there will be people who’d say I wasted my life on giving up that career.
 
Whatever your results today, God will use successes and failures – and I guess I was one of the latter! – in ways no one else ever can….
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GOD’S WAYS – A BIT DIFFERENT TO MY PLANS!!!

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After having eight different ‘homes’ in the last ten months, including 2½ complete home moves, my body isn’t quite sure where it’s at, and has felt a little weary, to say the least, especially as I’m now past the ‘halfway’ stage in my 60’s (I’m 66 for those interested!). Age has no fear for me, but I am aware of certain limitations that come with it – I think it was Spike Milligan who said ‘At my age you never go past a toilet!’ – as well as my well-documented mobility limitations. I’m in another temporary home right now, thanks to lovely friends willing to have this nomad in their house, having just activated the 50% Welsh part of my birth heritage and come ‘home’, while I wait to see what God does for a permanent home here. Dad was such an amazing man (you’ll probably say I’m biased but he was), so I’m so happy to be in the land of his birth, even if three hours north of where he came from, Penarth…

Dad and a very short body-less son! (A bit younger then… like 12!)

 

The physical effects of all of those moves, and especially the impact on me physically in occult-central house in Montgomery, have been greater than I realised, but last Sunday, with my lovely friend Jonathan, found the energy to go down south to a meeting where my great friend, Ian Andrews, was speaking. Ian – along with God, of course! – is a major reason why my life took a huge turn in 1983, when he (and a few others) prayed for me. Ian’s been perhaps the major healing pioneer in the church in the UK (and many other places) for the best part of 6 decades: it was in 1983, not knowing why I had a driving passion to go, that I managed to get in to an ‘invitation-only’ healing conference where Ian was the speaker. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but Ian blew me away with his humility, not an ‘all guns blazing’ tv-type healing evangelist, but a man of immense authority, faith, and power.

When I got to the conference I wished with everything in me that I hadn’t gone, as most of the other 50 were the charismatic leaders of the time (people like Roger Forster, Terry Virgo, Clive Calver, Graham Kendrick, Rob White, Gerald Coates, and an assembly of the famous!). So 49 – plus me! Being a good shy insecure Englishman, I sat at the back in the corner, behind someone tall. Ian began by asking a few questions – everyone here is a leader/in ministry? Everyone is filled with the Holy Spirit? Everyone speaks in tongue? Yes, Ian…all leaders, ministers, filled with the Spirit, speak in tongues… then ‘Everyone speaks in tongues publicly?’ – a spirit of fear hit the room and hands went up. ‘Er, no…’. Ian then pointed to a little geezer at the back in the corner – moi! – and said ‘speak in tongues for us now!’.

In the next few moments I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone as much as I hated Ian then! All these famous people he could have chosen… my mouth went dry, tasted like I imagine a cat litter tray tastes first thing in the morning, and my lips stuck together… then much to my amazement a few ridiculous-sounding words fell out of my mouth as I though ‘You idiot, Bennison, you’ve made a fool of yourself in front of all these superstars. To be honest. with hindsight I reckon they were just relieved he hadn’t picked them! As the last word fell out of my litter tray, a guy at the front burst into tears. God had given him the interpretation – which Biblically should always happen with a public tongue – and God had answered an issue in his life he’d been praying for an answer to for a very long time. My ghast was totally flabbered…

What Ian shared over the next 3-4 days totally changed my life, and I knew why I’d had the desperation to get to the conference. After it, Ian prayed for me, and the die was cast. A passion to bless people through the power of the Holy Spirit with absolutely no clue of how, when, or even why, coming from a background of quite (very?) sick people…

It was 3-4 years before it unfolded into reality, following other words from God, about travelling to the four corners of the earth to preach the gospel and see the sick healed. The wife of very dear friends has an almost unbelievable prognosis hanging over her right now, and I contacted Ian, whose friendship has meant so much to me in these 36 years, to ask if he’d pray for her. He’s one end of the country, she’s another – but last Sunday he just HAPPENED to be speaking a few miles away from the family, and so I wanted to be there when the hook-up happened – with just a slight (!) selfish motive in getting him to pray for my knees…. There’s certainly an improvement in mobility, but I’ll never ever give up believing for total wholeness, and nor will I ever give up ‘going and doing’ what God’s called me to do. I’ve had a bit of a lull due to the moves, but am back in harness again very soon, which I can’t wait for.

My mind is telling me I need a break – other than through exhaustion – in 40+ years of being in ministry, I’ve never had a sabbatical (some ministers seem to have a fair few!), but I have thought a short holiday in the sun would do my body the world of good, but holidaying on your own isn’t a great deal of ‘fun’, and it’s not something that’s in my budget 🙁 – I’d need to hire a car, too, as mobility would be an issue without one. My legs don’t, sadly, do trains and buses as they usually entail a lot of walking! I listen to other people involved ministry and they seem to have friends all over the world who offer them holiday homes. Apart from one good friend in Scotland and another in Surrey, I don’t know anyone with places I could beg to stay at!

Some of you might remember the story of a miraculous deliverance from what should only have been a fatal car crash 25 years ago, when an angel pulled me out of a car that had pretty much shrunk in length by 50% – it was Ian who’d seen the angel in a meeting at the church in Sussex 36 hours earlier, and the driver was the wife of great friends who have lived here in Wales for 17 years now. Sunday, Jonathan, the husband, drove us down to Surrey – the first time he’d seen Ian since that weekend in 1994: Ian and Rosemary had been telling their hosts the ‘crash’ story and my deliverance from the wreckage that morning!

I have so much love and respect for Ian – after all his years in the ‘miracle/healing/revival’ ministry, he’s still the same humble, self-effacing man I’ve always known but you sense the power of the anointing from God that he carries. Ian has instigated so many ‘revival’ movements across the globe, most recently in Victoria, Australia, and in South Australia. It was – to us, at least, a blessing that there wasn’t a huge attendance, which meant more time for ministry – he spent good quality time with my friend’s family, and praying for these disobedient knees I have! It was lovely to see how much care and time Ian had for people – not a line of people being told ‘be healed’ and pushed over – personally I find that type of ministry offensive and dishonouring to the person being prayed for, and to God. I’d rather stay for hours, giving each individual time and care. Jesus didn’t, it seems to me, get everyone in a line, push them over and shout ‘be healed!’.

It was a joy to see Ian and Rosemary, and as it was in Gerald and Anona Coates’ church, a pleasure to see them after at least 20 years! There were others who turned up at the meeting who I knew from many years ago, including Derek Brown, who I’d not seen for about 35 years! – he used to lead a big church in Aldershot but has moved into micro-churches now, which is what I’ve come to Wales to be a part of.  A wonderful blessing to have a good few hours in the car chatting to Jonathan, too.

 

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UNEXPECTED PRESSURE AND STRESS!

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To be ‘at home’ in the land of my own father – Wales – is lovely: it was a surprise when God made it clear that Welshpool was where he wants me purely because of the ‘geography’ for a regular Heathrow traveller and with many of the speaking engagements I get being in the southeast, but God is doing something special in Wales, with many prophetic words about the country and links to the Welsh revival…. so a month ago my flat in Kent was packed up and moved 200 miles northwest, into – for now – the garage of friends in the fellowship I’ve come here to be part of. The prayer is that God will do a miracle and provide me with something he’s promised over the last 5 years – my own home (it’d be the first home I could call ‘my own home’ since selling the last one I owned in 1983 to go to a ministry training centre) – but while waiting for that, or finding a suitable and affordable long-term rental property, I moved into an AirBnB property for the last month – to say that was ‘interesting’ would be a massive understatement!

I drove from Kent to the house, and on arrival was confronted by signs advertising most things ‘witchcraft’ – and the owners – one look at the wife and I knew that she was a witch! The house was filled with many occult books and artefacts, and the atmosphere was like I’ve never known! Some people might say ‘Why didn’t you get out?’ but I know that he who is in me is greater than he who is in any AirBnB or the world! Friends from the fellowship I’ve come here to be part of helped with covering some things up, moving books with titles like ‘Healing by Magic’, turning around statues of Buddha, covering over a native Indian ‘Dreamcatcher’…. the atmosphere changed as I and the friends here prayed, but it was still heavy…. I could have done courses in ‘Chakra Belly Dancing’ (! – don’t let your mind even go there!!), all things chakra, reiki, healing through magic…. oh yes, and a crochet course….

Monday night last week, at 4 am, unable to sleep (a problem every night in that house – I worked out that in 31 nights I slept for about 70 hours all of it very broken up) in the middle of a very wide bed, praying and listening to worship music, when I was thrown off of the bed by something unseen, landing on my knees (ooowww!!) and smashing my face on a heavy chair by the bed…. thought I’d broken my nose and lost my front teeth (I hadn’t fortunately though there was a lot of blood) but my knees are only just recovering to the pain level they normally are!

Some lovely friends have offered me a temporary home until I can either rent or miraculously get my own place, and I’ve had two nights of sleep, which has been bliss. I think I need a fair few nights before my body recovers… the Fellowship here is lovely, the folk have been so kind, helpful, generous in the amount of help they’ve given me, as the house I was in was so impractical for someone with mobility difficulties, especially the stairs! It’s a church based on Acts 2:42ff., so very different to what I left behind in Kent. It’s a delight to be with people who love and care for each other, have a massive heart for the area and the country, and God is moving some key people to the town which is just confirming some of the prophetic words that He’s spoken in recent months. It’s a thrill that God considers me able to be a part of what he’s going to do here, and to find that some of the folk in the Fellowship have been praying for 4-5 years that I’d come here. Now for the healing of the knees….

It’s a delight to be here and will be an increasing delight when I’ve learned to pronounce some of the place names (I can manage Welshpool!! – but not in Welsh – see if you can from the picture below!)), and when I can finally settle into what will be home. I look back and realise that I haven’t really had ‘home’ for many years – yes, I’ve lived in flats and houses, but none that I’d truly look forward to going ‘home’ to. So I’m praying that this will be a place to call home truly, and be part of what God is doing in Wales, as well as continuing to travel to many of the places I’ve been to in the past.

 

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Kindness – is it dead, or alive and well?

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I don’t know if any of you have watched ‘The Kindness Diaries’ on Netflix, but it’s amazing. Leon Logothetis is a man who, when young, was bullied and life was tough, and decided that the opposite of being selfish and being bullied – kindness – was going to be his goal in life, looking for kindness and, with certain people who showed him kindness, he rewarded them with whatever they needed.
I’m watching his journey from Alaska to Argentina, in a 50-year old VW Beetle, with NO money on him, needing help/accommodation/mechanics – and finding that, even in our selfish ‘me-me-me I want more money’ world, there ARE kind people who’ll help when you’re in trouble.
In the episode I’ve just watched, he was offered a good meal and a bed for the night in the home of a young woman and her fiancé, she was a refugee from from the Dominican Republic, and her life is given to helping others, but her dream to help thousands more is limited by resources. She wants to ‘stop the traffik’ of young girls, provide fresh water supplies for millions in many countries (and she specifically mentioned Ghana where I guess her roots are historically). Leon’s just told her he’ll arrange funding for her to go wherever she wants in the world to do it…
She’s crying, he’s ‘leaking’, I’m weeping…
Those who know me know that my passion has never been to ‘make it big’ as a preacher but to go to places where no one else who’s goal is money, will ever go. This is a series of programmes I’ll watch over and over again, as it’s my heart to love and care for people, pray for their healing, and do whatever I or my team’s can do practically for them.
Over the years that’s included water pumps for villages to have fresh water, homes for street kids in dangerous and war- torn countries, but it build homes for families and pastors, build (not flashy huge) churches in heathen villages…
You can imagine I’m loving this programme, and dreaming that one day I’ll meet Leon… And praying that God will give me the healed legs to do it a bit easier than I can right now…
I’d encourage to watch ‘The kindness diaries’. It’s uplifting and a blessing.

CE

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WHY NOT SO MANY MIRACLE STORIES?

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I’ve been asked why there are not so many miracle stories in the blog and on Facebook recently. and I ‘sense’ the assumption is that not much is happening. That couldn’t be further from the truth, to be honest! A lot of what I DO post here and on Facebook are things that are ‘reportable’ and that I have asked people’s permission to post. An even ‘bigger’ side of what I do involves people with issues and situations that are NOT for public ‘consumption’ – personal /church/ family issues which, thank God, he deals with – but if those issues related to YOU, say, you wouldn’t WANT them put out for public viewing, even if no names are mentioned it’s often possible for other people to identify those concerned.

It’s a fine line to walk when you’re dealing with people’s lives, especially when it comes to any form of abuse – whether that’s actual, physical, sexual, or spiritual abuse, and those issues are NOT for general publication! The last few months – apart from blogs where I’ve been out preaching and can report what God has done through the people I’ve taken with me, and through me, where healing is concerned. Healing isn’t just physical, though: is very necessary when the issues have been destructive through emotional, often even worse when it’s spiritual, and devastating when it’s physical.

I believe that God told me – and it was confirmed by a number of other prophetic friends and advisors, that as well as the things that I have been doing. the move to England (and now Wales) was going to involve a whole new raft of things that God was opening up for me – things I’ve been involved with in the past but not to the extent that I was going to see, and that there’d be a whole host of new things – ‘you ain’t seen nothing yet’ sort of time.

That’s certainly been the case since moving back across the Irish Sea, and countless hours of listening, talking, advising, ‘pulling’ on experiences I have had over the past 40 years as they’re still relevant today, have certainly filled and occupied time, and – Praise the Lord – seen real fruit in people’s lives.

I was going to do a blog about my sadness of the catastrophic ‘demise’ of the ‘Jesus Army’ in Bugbrooke, Northamptonshire: but it’s been well-documented in ‘Christianity’ magazine this month, and tragically, is so serious that it’s featured on the BBC News, too: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48447066 – it bears comparison with ‘Operation Yew Tree’ (Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, et al), and when a church issue causes the police to launch a similar operation – ‘Operation Lifeboat’ – you KNOW we’re moving into an era in history that brings the latter part of Scripture into vivid perspecitve. Hundreds of people have filed complaints about spiritual, personal, sexual, and physical abuse against the Jesus Army, which began as a perfectly normal Baptist Church in 1969, with an ‘Apostolic Social (Kingdom)’  charismatic vision, but it grew to a point where the leadership took over control of people’s lives, similar to Jonestown (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonestown) when 918 people (including over 300 children) were ‘told’ by Jim Jones, the former charismatic Apostolic Church pastor, to drink cyanide, and they all died. Six men from Bugbrooke/Jesus Army have already been sentenced to prison.

Control and manipulation in a growing number of influential churches is on the increase – and the rapid rise of the Jezebel spirit (see Revelation 2:20-24) is destroying people’s lives – or attempting to destroy them – in increasing numbers. I had experience of battling that very spirit a good few years ago, it nearly destroyed me (burn out, near nervous breakdown) but thank God I survived and came out of that battle stronger. And it’s this very issue I’ve been involved in helping people with over recent months. And that help doesn’t involve a short prayer at the end of a meeting: it involves countless (very worthwhile) hours of talking, praying, explaining – and Jezebel attacks the person praying too, which is why I believe (along with 36 or so stairs at an apartment block!) that my knees have been pretty grim, as the spirit goes for your ‘weak-points’ too. Control in churches is on the rise: it’s evil it’s witchcraft, and when one of the last things God had to say to humanity in Scripture, was about Jezebel, we need to take it seriously. It’s in churches that ‘seem’ good, look good, and attractive to people with many migrating from existing churches to them….

So maybe you’ll understand why I haven’t blogged so many miracle stories: people’s LIVES are vital, as well as healing their ailments, and I’m grateful to God for what I’ve had personal experience of in order to help others in the same situation!

 

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TO THE LAND OF REVIVAL: BRING IT ON, LORD!!

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To say the last 18 months have been unusual would be an understatement in the extreme! To all those who think ‘living by faith’, seeing thousands healed over 35 years. travelling to lots of countries (many of which I’d never have CHOSEN to go to but fell in love with after God made it clear I’d be going!), is a wonderful life, let me put a few of the not so wonderful things into perspective for you when you try and follow the call of God obediently – and these just in the last year and a half!! (Not including, in previous years, losing my home completely 5 times, having to choose to give up the last house I owned – mortgage, but some equity! – 36 years ago in order to go to a ministry training centre for a time which the equity paid for!). If you still want to be a missionary and live by faith after this, then I’d say that God has called you!

But do you know what? I wouldn’t swap the house, equity, or anything, for what I’ve seen God do in the last 40 years, more especially the last 34 years – because He’s blown me away with what He’s done with and through this plonker from the East End of London, with where He’s taken me, with who I’ve met and become friends with all over the world (having never travelled abroad before apart from to France), what He’s given me the grace (and guts!) to eat (cow’s eyes, live flying ants, snake, cow’s lips, cat, dog…..want me to go on??!!), and now, arriving in Wales on the next ‘leg’ of my life of adventure, knowing that people of the Kingdom of Heaven have been praying that I’ll come here – for 4-5 years… I’ve not been part of too many churches in my life – most have been long-stay churches – I have to say it’s wonderful to come somewhere where the folk want me, are totally non-religious, not threatened by anyone with an existing ministry (you might be shocked at how many churches are, so they don’t want you!), and I’ve had more people visit me and help me here in 5 days than I had in the last 6 months!

Here’s the last 18 months in a nutshell(!):

  • the previously documented wrecking of my right knee by an orthopaedic consultant in Belfast in January 2018, to then not being able to walk (and acute pain) for 10 months as a result,
  • somehow managing a 3-4 week trip to Colombia in a wheelchair, to waking up one morning IN Colombia with my legs looking like I’d been stood in a barrel of beetroot juice all night and being diagnosed with chronic cellulitis
  • some preaching – with mobility difficulties! – in Northern Ireland
  • speaking at a great conference in Dublin in November and seeing God heal
  • being told by other orthopaedic consultants that I might never walk again
  • not being able to walk from my living to my kitchen (about 15 feet/5 metres) so not being able to eat for many of those months (but losing 120 pounds weight/8.5 stones/55 kg was a bonus)
  • having the blessing of wonderful friends, Roy and Angie, from Plymouth, flying to N Ireland to spend 5 days with me to clean my house, and cook many meals I could freeze and then just stick in the oven, my not-yet-Christian neighbours in Northern Ireland frequently cooking Sunday lunch for me so often I had one meal a week(!)
  • to being persuaded to move from Northern Ireland to Gravesend – and most ludicrously to do the move without a removal company
  • giving away about half of my home in Northern Ireland as it wouldn’t fit on the trailer
  • to renting a second floor (third if you’re American) flat/apartment without seeing it first, realising that there was no lift/elevator but about 36 stairs (poor knees!!) – and because of its location (about 20 minutes from London) – at a rent that made my eyes water – 3 times the rent I’d been paying in Ireland – God does have a great sense of humour! God made me aware early on that it wasn’t it a long term stay – thankfully – for all sorts of reasons, that he’d taken me there for a purpose which I’m thrilled to say has been fulfilled
  • to being promised about a third of the rent difference by a ‘friend’ – the same promise every month for the 6 months I was there – and then to be told ‘You need to learn to live by faith’… hmm! He’s a guy in his forties and I’ve been living by faith for 40 years.! If I’m honest, it was hugely dishonouring and insulting! God’s wonderful though – he came up trumps every month so I didn’t have to even delay the rent 🙂
  • wondering where I’d go after Gravesend (isn’t that just an awful name for a town? – I used to think that when I was a boy listening to the football results when they’d announce the ‘Southern League’ scores!)- there were a few places that seemed to be on the horizon (I DID wonder if one would be Colombia, but not this time!). Thinking it would be one place, then God hi-jacking my plans (!) and bringing me here to Wales – there are so many prophecies about Wales right now, and so much expectation, it’s exciting to be here to be a part of what God is going to do.
  • renting a house through Air BnB for the next 3 weeks that is owned by the neighbours – extreme new agers, with books titled ‘Healing by Magic’ and similar – probably more occultists than new-agers!
  • Most of my home is stored in a friend’s garage: and the stuff I asked the removal men to bring here for the next month or months, they mostly didn’t – including most of my clothes! If you hear on the news of a naked limping overweight walking round Wales, it might well be me….
  • Then not really knowing where I’ll be staying/living after that – but I’ve been here before, and God’s always kept his promise from 40 years ago: ‘Trust me for your home, security, and income’.

So, despite the spiritual battle that was the last location, I’m really excited to be in THIS spiritual battle for a nation that has revival history – astonishing history – and the promise from God through countless people that Wales is on his agenda again….

A lovely friend from South London sent me this verse a couple of days ago – Job 36:16:

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.

That is a wonderful encouragement and blessing!

Now to let these knees recover from 36 stairs for 6 months, and there’ll be no stopping me again….

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LIVING SIGNIFICANTLY…

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Up until 1971, I thought I was living on ‘ok’ Christian life (when I look back, a lot of my ‘Christianity’ was pretense as a teenager at school) and was an active part of a great Youth Group in Heathfield, then it moved to Mayfield, East Sussex. I thought I was doing fine: my friend Andy and I had gone to the youth group from our homes in Eastbourne, feeling that the ‘Lord was leading us there’ – when truthfully, we’d heard there were a lot of pretty girls in the group, and Eastbourne – then – was a ‘cemetery with lights’ or ‘God’s waiting room’!! It was certainly right there were a large number of pretty girls – a wonderful blessing after what seemed a shortage of them at home!

God moves in mysterious ways, though(!) – and while we both found young ladies (I think without any doubt that Andy won the lottery out of the two of us!) – our ‘purpose’ in going to that group wasn’t God’s reason for us going there. I went as ‘pretend’ Christian, but within a few months at a weekend camp, where the speaker couldn’t come because he was ill, the replacement speaker was God’s plan for my life! A young, then unknown Clive Calver, fresh out of Bible College and filled with the Holy Spirit (which in the early 70’s was almost ‘taboo’ in evangelical churches), saw straight through my pretence and I knew he could see straight through me. To be in honest, in that moment, I absolutely hated him!

A few months on, Clive was going to lead an evangelistic mission – a coffee bar mission (there, that REALLY dates it, doesn’t it!!) and was going to teach us how to start conversations with people about the Lord, and lead them into a relationship with Jesus. Then he said that he wasn’t going to teach us, he was going to show us: ‘Paul, it’s time you got saved!’ If I’d hated Clive at the camp, now I was murderous! But that night, in 1972, I gave my life to Jesus: something I’ve never regretted, needless to say. I was working in a bank at the time, and I hated it – it was boring, monotonous, and I’d ‘done’ the only job that looked interesting – the counter, dealing with customers, and counting money! I stayed in the bank as it was then a good career, 2.5% mortgage (in an era of 14% mortgages!), with a reasonable salary and good pension hundreds of years in the future… Clive wanted me to leave and join Youth for Christ, where he was, by 1975 (I think) National Director, and I knew it was what God wanted, but I didn’t for the reasons I’ve just mentioned! So I argued with God for 4 years (I’m sure no one reading this has ever argued with God over a call on their life!). So God intervened again and moved me to another branch of the bank, which I hated with a 100% passion, so I demanded another move – to an even worse branch with an unbelievably awful manager (I won’t say where or who!!) – who insisted you give him 300% of your time and effort. So I finally caved in to God, and quit at the end of 1978…. Youth for Christ it was!

Would I go back? Not on your life! Was I living significantly in the bank? Not in a million years! Had I any idea when I started working for YFC in East Sussex where it would lead? Not in the slightest! I still had a house (though by now my salary had gone down the £0, no pension, and my mortgage to 15% (as it was a re-mortgage from the bank). Within about 4 weeks, my car – a wonderful(NOT!) diahrrea-coloured Austin Maxi (remember them? Remember that colour – only the dreadful Maxi, Marina, and Allegro were that colour! And as cars they were all as bad as each other!) – ‘blew up’ in Hailsham High Street, a wonderful sound of broken metal pieces hitting the road and a black river behind the car flowing down the road…. How could I do the job without a car? Well, God had that one up his sleeve, too: I was given an almost new Chrysler Alpine within a couple of weeks, which was an incredible blessing.

The desire to live a much more significant life was growing inside rapidly: you only get one life. Why spend it in insignificance? After 4 years came 9 months at a Christian Training Centre, then a move to become a homegroup leader, followed by Elder, followed by Youth Pastor at a church on the south coast (out of which came an event known as Cutting Edge, which became so big, and ‘spawned’ the wonderful worship band Delirious. Just as Cutting Edge was ‘taking off’ God hijacked me again (I so wanted to stay with Cutting Edge!) and said – ‘Hey, you, it’s to the four corners of the earth to preach, teach, and pray for the sick for you’.

I argued with God again! Didn’t want to do that – I’d never travelled, didn’t like foreign food, and didn’t have any money. A problem to God? Drat, no!! For 6 weeks and 9 prophetic words I told God he’d got the wrong person, but after the 9th, I realised God wasn’t going to shut up, so I said ‘Ok, Lord, I’ll go, anywhere except Africa or India!’. Don’t ever tell God what you don’t want to do or don’t want to go! Within 12 hours, 5 invitations – 2 to France (not such a problem as I loved baguette, cheese, and wine!), one to Hong Kong (not a problem as I love shopping and I knew HK was great for shopping, especially for gadgets! – but God was oh so sneaky on this one!), and two to Ghana (aarrgghh!). Ghana was first… thank you God, thank you very, very much!

I fell in love not just with a country but a continent, and saw wonderful things happen there, and in teaching at Youth with Mission schools, found a good number of students encouraged to go into ministry themselves planting churches in the bush region of Ghana, God’s sneaky trick with Hong Kong mostly took me into China, which I’d NEVER had agreed to if I’d known – but China changed my life forever, spending time with pastors living in revival and miracles, and meeting ex-dead people (resurrected by God with the expectation of the pastors that it had to happen as it said it in the Bible!), which grabbed me with a passion to see the same things happen wherever I went. I remember saying to God as I left China for the first time, ‘God I have to see these things happen, and I don’t care what it costs me’….

It HAS cost – a lot – not just financial, but in every other conceivable way. Would I go back? Never! When you’ve seen legs grow (from nothing to a full leg, not just popping down an inch or so!), when you’ve seen thousands and thousands healed all over the world, when you’ve seen the dead come back to life, thousands and thousands find faith in Jesus, lives transformed, churches planted, missionaries released into many parts of the world, had God provide in order to go to 111 countries (most of them multiple times – like Colombia 89, Romania 129, Mexico 35 and many more) – and when you bear in mind I come from a family that have had many serious illnesses and never liked travelling, and would prefer – probably – to die of starvation than eat rice and dal in India, or cow’s eyes and lips in Mexico, or cat and dog in China…. was so sick myself until I was six doctors didn’t think I’d live, was celiac until (much to my mum’s horror) eating sausages, beans, and chips a number of weeks in a row at a friend’s house, and when France laying on a sun-soaked beach in July would have been my ‘extreme’ travel choice, it’s been an amazing journey so far, and it’s going to get more amazing as the next years unfold…. and we can ALL do it……

Thank God he uses the foolish things of the world – and the fearful, who after kicking and screaming choose to be obedient… whoever would want to live a life of insignificance? I can genuinely say that I don’t want ‘fame’ significance, or ‘big platforms’ to preach from – just be great in the kingdom in God’s eyes, not people’s, by being the servant of all.

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UNOFFENDABLE

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UNOFFENDABLE

How many of us find ‘offence’ a hard thing to deal with? I doubt any of us find it easy – especially when you look at Matthew 24:10-12 – and betrayal, especially when it is by people you’d have considered friends – is particularly hard to deal with. I’ve been battling with that very issue in recent months – from three people – all of them betrayed me, using things in accusation or lies that they themselves have major problems with in their own lives. I know that in my life I’ve probably done the same thing to other people (though I hope never betrayal) born out of something I needed God to deal with in me. The three recent occurrences I’ve battled with are from one person I’ve known 35 years, one 20 years, and one much more recent. like in 8 years or so. But boy it hurts. Even when God’s shown you that stones being thrown at you are being hurled by people who live in glass houses…

I’ve been asking God to deal with that ‘instant’ offence that rises up without warning so that it doesn’t take root. That might sound easy, but if you’ve been betrayed or accused, it’s much easier said than done! I’ve forgiven the people concerned, believe (and feel) that I’m not carrying any offence (one was an unbelievable email from someone I’ve served for a number of years that I’m praying how to respond to as the accusations are all to do with his attitude to money giving him the right to control the beneficiary – and who’s not responded to nine ‘olive branch’ messages in 8 months). I so want to be like Jesus who, even in the middle of his crucifixion, chose not to take offence,

The marvellous compassionate preacher/teacher/writer Francis Frangipane says this:

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek. 36:26).
God has a new heart for us, a heart that cannot be offended; it is an “unoffendable” heart. Beloved, possessing an unoffendable heart is not an option or a luxury; it’s not a little thing. Indeed, Jesus warns that, as we near the end of the age, many Christians will be so offended by the sin and lawlessness in the world that they fall away from the faith.
Listen carefully to the Lord’s warning:

“Then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another . . . and because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matt. 24:10-12 KJV).

“Many” will “be offended.” The result? The love of “many” will grow cold. My prayer is that we will hear His words with holy fear.
When we allow an offense to remain and germinate in our hearts, it causes serious spiritual consequences. In the above verse Jesus named three dangerous results: betrayal, hatred and cold love. When we are offended with someone, even someone we care for, we must go to them. If we do not talk to them, we will begin to talk about them. We betray that relationship, whispering maliciously behind their back to others, exposing their weaknesses and sins.
We may mask our betrayal by saying we are just looking for advice or counsel, but when we look back, we see we have spoken negatively about the person to far too many people. Our real goal was not to get spiritual help for ourselves but to seek revenge toward the one who offended us. How is such action not a manifestation of hatred? For an offended soul, cold love, betrayal and hatred are a walk into darkness.
People don’t stumble over boulders; they stumble over stones, relatively small things. It may be that the personality of someone in authority bothers us, and soon we are offended. Or, a friend or family member fails to meet our expectations, and we take an offense into our soul. Beloved, if we will “endure to the end,” we will have to confront the things that bother us.
When Jesus warns that we need endurance, He is saying that it is easier to begin the race than finish it. Between now and the day you die, there will likely be major times of offense that you will need to overcome. You might be in such a time right now. Do not minimize the danger of harboring an offense!
No one plans on falling away; no one ever says, “Today, I think I’ll try to develop a hardened, bitter heart.” Such things enter our souls through stealth. It is only naiveté that assumes it couldn’t happen to us. I know many people who consistently become offended about one thing or another. Instead of dealing with the offense, praying about it and turning the issue over to God, they carry it in their soul until its weight disables their walk with God.
You may be doing fine today, but I guarantee you, tomorrow something will happen that will inevitably disappoint or wound you; some injustice will strike you, demanding you retaliate in the flesh. Will you find more love, and hence, continue your growth toward Christlikeness? Or will you allow that offense to consume your spiritual life?

Francis Frangipane

There’s a great book by Rick Renner – ‘You can get over it: how to confront, forgive, and move on’ (https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Can-Get-Over-Confront/dp/0977945928/ref=sr_1_19?crid=1TV2IKIOW77A9&keywords=rick+renner+books&qid=1561549901&s=gateway&sprefix=rick+renner%2Caps%2C645&sr=8-19)

which is very helpful. I’m re-reading the ‘confront’ part again and asking God if I should address the issues, but feeling – even as I write – ‘that Jesus opened not his mouth’. Better, perhaps to ‘move on’ from those ‘friendships’ (‘friendly fire’ isn’t a joke – it’s exceedingly painful) – much better ones have replaced them with people who don’t have a ‘control’ agenda, whereas the others did. I cannot understand why anyone would WANT to control another person or people – when love doesn’t control, doesn’t manipulate – those things are rooted in the Jezebel Spirit, (which I mentioned a few times in recent posts here and on Facebook because her activity is stepping up big time in this era). Read Revelation 2:20 if you want to read what some churches ‘look’ like, yet who they tolerate, and God is not pleased to say the least!

If you’ve suffered from betrayal, I want to you to know there’s a way through it. Jesus knows how you feel – he experienced it – and ask him to give you the power to confront (if you need to, but in love), forgive, and move on. It doesn’t mean that you have to be best friends with the person/people/church again, but you’re free as you’ve forgiven. And that’s the key.

 

 

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